I am feeling very upset and angry about the loss of my Mum.
I lost my dad when I was 19 years old to cancer. They were unable to tell us it was cancer until the post-mortem told us. I am glad Dad didn’t know he had it but we never got to say goodbye. That was in Jan 2010 almost 10 years ago now.
Mum found out she had breast cancer in 2014 and beat it. Since 2016 she was feeling unwell and the Drs kept turning her away saying she was fine. In Feb 2019 we found out that she had metastatic breast cancer that had spread to her liver stomach and bones. On the 6th June it spread to her brain and she slowly every day deterioted until she passed away on the 15yh July. I was by her side every single day and stayed with her over nights towards the end. Why do I still feel like I didn’t do enough and could have done more?
I sometimes feel okay then the grief comes up inside me and makes me feel so desperately upset. Why did my mum have to die when I am only 28? Why do people in their 50’s and 60’s still have their parents and sometimes grandparents! (Mine had all died by the time I was 14)
I did that what makes me the most upset is knowing how much my Mum loved me so much and how much she would want to be here with us and counting down to Christmas. I feel like everyday that passes is another day that I will never see my mum again and another day between the last time I got to see her or speak to her.
I just wish my Mum could come back and I know she never can and that is heartbreaking. I have a 12 year old daughter who misses her grandma so much. I now have no parents. I do have a partner but he struggles to understand how I am feeling and it does put a strain on our relationship.
I did take time off at the time but I am now doing a full time degree and man again my preschool full time and I am very tired. Sometimes I just want to stay in bed and sleep forever
Just hoping to talk to someone. thank you