Lost my beautiful mum 💔

On the 11th of August I got the phone call no one should have my mums passed away in her sleep I’m in complete disbelief anger frustration hurt I feel like my worlds been ripped in two my mums only 51. We don’t even know the reason for her passing yet me and my sister went to see her on the Friday morning and she looked like she was sleeping we both helD our beautiful mum, we’re waiting on the coroner to get in touch and that’s what’s hard to the not knowing I didn’t get to say goodbye my 4 year old daughter is so confused and I’m 17 weeks pregnant she should be here and I keep getting so scared at night that I’m going to see her or she’s going to appear and I can’t sleep I know it sounds silly but it’s how I’m feeling i don’t know what to do no more my little girl and baby are the only things pulling me through me and my mum had our ups and downs but I love her so so much and don’t understand why she’s gone?! Why?! I know it’s only been a week but it’s been the longest week ever just want her back my beautiful loving mum.

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@Kirihunt that’s so awful for you. i lost my wonderful Dad 4 weeks ago . The pain is so raw . You need to take care of yourself for your baby . I’m on here a lot if you need to talk .
It does help knowing there are people who understand x

I’m so sorry to hear about your dad, it is such a intense pain but i just need to speak to someone who understands appreciate the reply means a lot im next of kin as well as mum wasn’t married and I’m her oldest daughter so feeling overwhelmed but we don’t have a cause of death yet :broken_heart: same goes to you if you need to talk I’m here x

@Kirihunt there is so much to sort out isn’t there. I have found keeping myself busy helps and also being at their house I feel close to him . It’s when I get home I feel isolated and horrible so upsetting … take care x

Hi Kiri, I’m sorry to hear of your loss, what a shock for you. Once you know the cause you will perhaps be able to make sense of it all. I lost my mum in April and I’m still in bits about it, she wasn’t married and I have one sister but she lives far away and barely has any time for anything so I’m doing most of the “sadmin”. I’ve also got a nine month old baby girl that mum should be able to spend time with. I feel robbed and I’m so angry.
You are not alone with your hurt, it really helps to speak to others in the same boat. I have no friends who have lost one parent, let alone two so I feel pretty isolated. Keep posting on here, don’t feel alone.
Sending you strength and hugs xx

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@BrackObama it’s so isolating isn’t it

Yes, it really is. Life is crap right now!

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I’m a year and a half into this journey. I lost my mum suddenly and the first few weeks and months were some of the hardest moments of my life. I can’t even begin to explain the feelings but you’ll all sadly understand. The intense feelings at the beginning do get easier. When I lost mum I came on here for some hope. And talking to people on here did help a lot. I’m so sorry for all your losses. You’re not alone.

Nic xxx

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You take care also x

Thank you for your reply I don’t think you know what to expect I think it’s we know what happens with life but never expect it with our loved ones and I think having kids as well they keep us strong but it’s the waves of one min it’s almost like I forget then hits all over again definitely robbed of time it’s not fair and hurts so much xx

I think it’s easier to speak to people who know it’s so hard because even talking to family can be hard because you just want to support them I always try be the strong one but I’m breaking bit by bit all the regrets my mum rang me on the Thursday and didn’t realise and keep kicking my self to why I didn’t call her back so many guilt feelings going through my head was going to video call her Friday morning but too late…. Xx

My mum said she wasn’t feeling well the night before but I was like you’ll be ok! We can’t ever expect it to be something like this. I felt so guilty and like I could of done more or taken it more seriously. She said she was anxious and that was it. I still can’t read the last few messages. I could of saved her. But then I’m not sure she’d of wanted to of been saved as her life would never of been the same again. I don’t know. Again these thoughts do ease. It’s a long hard journey. But not one you all have to walk alone xxx

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Hi there , I’m so so sorry for your loss , my mom passed away 11 weeks ago all very sudden and traumatic as she was only diagnosed with cancer 2 weeks before she died , her last 2 weeks alive were traumatic and she passed away in pain , I can’t say it gets easier at the moment as I’m still trying to get through every day , and those waves of grief debilitate me and I find it so hard to function sometimes , I went back to work after 4 weeks and it did help a bit but I’m now taking a few days off as the weekend was awful , but I’m not going to beat myself up for feeling like I’m going backwards , this is a journey not a marathon and I know now that I need help along the way and I’m ready to take it now , be kind to yourself and don’t punish yourself by over thinking I’ve done that and it’s not a good place to be in , I take comfort in knowing my mom wouldn’t want me to hurt this much , I’m only a message away take care xxx

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