lost my best friend ,lover ,soul mate Jayne

my name is Ian and on 10th feb 2019 my world caved in on me as my partner Jayne took her last breath as i held her handand told her i loved her.we had been together for 28 years,and lived together for the last 20 years.ive had bereavement counselling and have got 2 sessions left.im sure im going need more as im far from coping at the loss.all i want is to be with Jayne.my heart goes out to all of those who have lost a partner,its hard to understand how hard it is unless youve actually been through this devastating loss.ive had friends talk to me like its easy just move on.sorry but i cannot look to the future as all my happiness was with Jayne.

Hello. I am so sorry for your loss. We on this forum know all about worlds caving in. My husband died very suddenly with no prior warning or symptoms of any kind. I crave for the life and future which should have been ours. This site can offer a lifeline. Just to know we are not alone in our suffering is a great comfort. Keep posting, keep reading and you will soon realise that most of what you are feeling is felt by others. Of course, our grief is unique to us in so many ways but in so many other ways is shared by others. I hope you find this site as helpful as I have. It’s been almost 2 years since my husband passed away and whilst on this site I have witnessed fellow grievers grow in a way I could never have imagined. It has been an inspirational experience. There’s been the obvious sorrow and sadness and utter devastation of our loss, there’s been desparation, but then a little humour has appeared along with thanks and positivity. Not always in that order. Of course, I would rather not have to be travelling this grief journey at all, but I am honoured and humbled to be travelling it with the wonderful people on this site. As someone reminded us only this morning, life is worth living. It’s very early days for you yet so take one step at a time, tiny steps, don’t expect too much of yourself but one day you will smile again - of this I am sure. You will carry your beautiful Jayne in your heart forever. She will live on in you. Sending you love and strength xx

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Thank You,Kate.
im constantly crying at present,when ever i think of Jayne,as i thought we would grow old together,she was my everything and made me happier than i ever thought possible.im just a weak man whose only wish is to be with my soul mate Jayne when i leave this mortal coil.and thats not looking possible at present im praying the pension pays enough to hopefully do a deal with Jaynes parents so i end up in the same resting place as Jayne.thank you again for your support,hope you getting the support you need .regards ian

Hi Ian,

So sorry to hear about your loss.

My wife passed away 3 months ago and I continually think about her wonderful character that brought so much happiness. We too had known each other for 28 years and as a consequence we knew each other so well. We could make each other laugh and sometimes cry a little too. Being alone again is one thing, but trying to cope with the loss of a beautiful partner is on a different scale.
I am trying day by day to carry on living a worthwhile life my wife would have wanted for me. At times it feels unbearable, but I will continue to strive for some kind of happiness for the future.
The worst thing that could have happened to me was to never have met my wife. This was purely coincidental of us being both at the right place at the right time.
Nothing I can say will make the loss of your amazing partner any easier. We just take things day by day and hopefully we will start thinking more about all the good things our partners brought into our lives rather than reflecting on all the opportunities we will miss out on. I am not there yet myself, but early days still.

This site and all the people who contribute will give some comfort.

Take care,


hi Keith
Thank you,for your comment,im not coping to well,im crying and emotional every day ,im not lonely im just missing Jayne so damn much it hurts big time,with not being married and other issues things are cloudy at best.hopefully i will get to be with Jayne when i leave this mortal coil.thats what im looking forward to.good luck with your life without your wife,and maybe in time the pain of the loss will be bearable.take care Ian

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