First off thank you for taking the time to read this post. I dont know where to begin but i’ll keep it as short as possible. I am 28, my uncle was 45, he was diagnosed with seronegative arthritis in his 20s and by age 35 had had his knees, elbows, hips etc replaced. He was my best friend, Id care for him, cook for him, visit daily, watch the boxing, clean him after an accident etc etc. He suffered a stroke a while back and his mood and personality changed, he even accused me of stealing from him, I didnt. As a result, we didnt speak for a few months and he died on March 28th before we got to repair our relationship. I never got to make amends but did see him in the hospital shortly before he died. Since he died my behaviour and my personality have also changed. I started drinking, ive pushed my partner and my daughter away, they are the best thing to ever happen to me but I see no light at the end of the tunnel anymore. I lost my uncle, my best friend and before long I’ll lose me family. I have a good job, a great family yet I am in a downward spiral because of his death. I do not know how to come to terms with him leaving me and would like to hear your thoughts before I self destruct. Thanks again for your time.
Hi, it is very sad that the relationship you had with your uncle, who you dearly loved, was strained towards the end due to his poor health and a misunderstanding. We all respond differently to grief, and it seems that drink has been your way to respond. Luckily, you realise that the path you are on is only going to further destruct your life and your relationship with your loved ones, and do not want this to happen. I think you could benefit from professional help - Sue Ryder provide an online bereavement service, I think if you were to contact them, they would be able to give you guidance on getting all the help you need. In the meantime, you can continue posting here whenever you feel you need someone to listen to you, because that’s what we are here for - to help people who are really struggling like you.
Thank you Abdullah, I was able to speak with my partner last night and be honest with both her and myself. I am going to follow up on your suggestions and try to get the support I clearly need. Thanks again for taking the time to respond
We should be thanking you for taking the steps you have taken to try and repair your relationship and get your life back together. It certainly isn’t easy when you are suffering as much as you are. Hopefully you’ll be able to get the help you so deserve.
What great advice Abdullah! Hope you’re coping Sonny, unresolved issues are really difficult when someone very close to you dies before you have time to sort it out . It leaves you not only broken hearted but full of guilt, remorse and regret. I know how that feels, I had several unresolved issues with my husband before he died very suddenly. But gradually I have taken on board what I’ve been told, that it wasn’t my fault and nobody knows what may happen in the future, hindsight is a wonderful thing. Don’t beat yourself up, grieve for your uncle and cherish your lovely family and treat yourself kindly too. x