Me and my brother had had a strained relationship for the last few years I loved him very much but he had to many bad habits that got in the way for him to have a relationship with anyone I always hoped and thought he would get better and over come them but he recently passed due to a suspected overdose and I witnessed my father trying to resuscitate him and then for the paramedic to say that he passed a few hours earlier and that seen him like that is honestly haunting me I feel like I can’t speak to anyone in my family But I am really finding it hard to cope with his death , nothing feels real I feel like each day I am going through the motions and that I’m living in some nightmare I keep feeling like any minute I should wake up and tell my partner about the awful dream I had, I just feel so lost in
Hi Mag, it is very difficult when you lose someone with whom you had a strained relationship with, as there will be all sorts of feelings of guilt, but the reality is that had you known that person would die, you would have fixed it, so you should try and let go of the guilt. I can understand that it must be difficult to speak to people you know, and so you have definitely come to the correct place because here you can speak and say what you need to without being judged, as we know about grief and trauma. Hope you’re having an ok day today, please keep posting.