So if you asked me what life was like 4 months ago I would of said everything was perfect.
I’m 23 and I have a job I don’t mind, was learning how to drive, and have the most perfect boyfriend who I could happily call my best friend too. We have been dating for 4 years and things were slowly falling into place. We were planning to move out by next year and we’ve also talked about the future together.
On the 4th of May I received the worst news I could hear. My boyfriend passed away. He went to Germany for a business trip only for a day and it was an accident. We still don’t know what happened and we probably will never know. It was a series of events what lead to his death but we don’t know why.
I am finding it very hard to come to turns with it. More than over 3 months I have found it so hard. I have been the lowest of low, have had thoughts in my head that people would not want to think. It still feels like a dream. I feel so lonely. As he was my best friend aswell as my boyfriend I feel so lost. We talked everyday without fail and made each other so happy. I miss him so much.
I have been blessed that I am so close to his family. His friends have been lovely too. I’m normally called “one of the lads” and I call all of his friends my best friends. If it wasn’t for my family, my boyfriend’s family and friends I would not be here. I owe them my life.
I’ve noticed online there isn’t a lot of help with young adults loosing their partners. I was not married or engaged and we did not live together. However we were so close and I don’t think it matters that I wasn’t married. I imagine I still feel the same with someone loosing their husband, wife ect.
I am trying counselling however I have always not been keen on it. My counsellor has cancelled on me twice already so I’ve only had one session. And it makes me not to go.