Lost my brother to cancer

Hi, my brother was diagnosed with cancer, stage 4, too late to treat due to covid and cancelled appointments. Was given 12 months could be sooner, it turned out to be much sooner than expected, in fact just under 2 months from diagnosis to death. He was scared of dying and never wanted to die, he was selling up relocating to Devon this year to live by his son, in stead he moved in with is son to enjoy Devon and his son and partner build up memories, they moved him on the Thursday and a week later we had the call to go from Bham to Devon to say our goodbye. He lingered on till the Sunday morning and passed away, his funeral is day before his birthday. He felt cheated his diagnosis too late and stolen times with his family as do we for our loss. My mom is elderly and struggling so bad with covid and isolation etc and this has really knocked the rug from under her and I don’t know what to say or do or cope myself.

Hi Angel, cancer is such a cruel disease, and robs us of our loved ones far too soon, I wish I could say something to ease your pain, but I can’t, all I can say is that in time it will get easier and you will be able to remember all the good times you had together, in the meantime take a day at a time, some days will be easier than others, just go with the flow, sending love Jude xx

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Hi I know the pain you are feeling, I too lost my younger brother 3 weeks ago he was diagnosed with terminal cancer and we only had 7 weeks with him. My parents are in their late 70’s and are struggling with their own awful grief. We had the funeral 2 days ago so things are very raw at the moment and I feel so lost and overwhelmed with sadness and usable to burden my parents as they have enough grief of their own. I felt very cheated with the little time we had with him. It is really hard to know what to do as you are trying to cope with your own feelings as well as your mums, I find talking to friends and on here helps me a lot and I don’t need to bother mum and dad x

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Hi its good to read your message its so alike mine so we share the same and i would be more than happy if you want to exchange contact details to watsapp and/or email. My brothers funeral 29 June his bday 30 June. All everyone says is he is out of pain now which i know but still left hole in our life and emptiness nobody else can fill.

Thank you so much.

Hi yes our situation is so very similar, my brother died 6 days before his 45th birthday, it just seems to make things even more unbearable, and I have had the ‘at least he isn’t in pain anymore’ speech but that really doesn’t help much.

Big hugs Lisa xx

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