New here. Lost my hero, my dad back in March this year. He had lung cancer and fortunately didn’t suffer for long. His passing was expected. He waited until we all went home and mum went to have a shower to take his last breath. My son was with him at the end. He didn’t want any fuss amd had a direct cremation with no service. Said my good byes the evening before he passed. He passed peacefully. I have struggled to grieve in the normal way. I have been angry, upset but not a blubbering mess. I get very depressed and angry with the world around me. Feeling like I have to be constantly stronger for everyone else. Had very good support from some close friends who I can vent to when needed. Mum coping well. Just feeling that my way of grieving is not the norm. Dad taught me a lot over rthe years including building and diy so put my energy into projects like that. Sorry for the long winded post guys.
Hi Jo,
Really sorry to hear about the loss of your Father. I lost my Mum unexpectedly over a year ago and can totally relate to how you feel. Just remember there is no right or normal way to grieve, everyone is different. All I would say is in my experience just go with the flow. Cry when you want, be angry when you want. Don’t bottle the emotion. Grief ebbs and flows and its a rollercoaster!! You will go through every emotion possible in different stages and that’s totally OK and sometimes you may feel everything at once. I also felt that I had to be the strong one especially for my Dad but I reached out to Sue Ryder and had the counselling and it really helped me to have that safe space where I felt like I could really vent without sparing people’s feelings. Maybe that would help? You need support too and venting to friends is good and you have that network but I felt my friends didn’t really understand as nobody had experienced a loss of a parent, amazing as my friends were they just didn’t get it. Just please know that your feelings are valid and grief does change. It doesn’t get easier but you do learn acceptance. X