Lost my dad last year

Losing a parent
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I lost my dad last year due to lung cancer , very quickly , and now my mum has breast cancer. I miss my dad every day , I’m not really over dad , I’ve had to help mum get through dad so I just carried on every day and kind of swept my feelings aside . But now I feel like I’m falling apart .. is this normal ?

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Hello @Lauren11,

I’m so sorry for the loss of your dad and for your mum’s diagnosis. Thank you for sharing this with us. I’m just giving your thread a gentle, “bump” for you - hopefully someone will have some thoughts to share.

Take good care,
Alex

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I’m really sorry for the loss of your dad and for your mum’s illness. I lost my dad a long time ago when he was quite young and my mum just a few months ago. I think it is completely normal to feel like you’re falling apart in these situations. Dealing with grief is hard enough without worrying about your mum’s illness.

I don’t have any advice as such but wanted to let you know you’re not alone. I found I had little time for myself when my mum was ill but I tried to get outside for a short walk when I could as it helped to clear my head. I also tried to give myself short tea breaks without looking at my phone to try and relax a little.

Wishing you all the best as I know this time of year can be particularly difficult.

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Hi, I absolutely feel your pain. I don’t think there’s a right or a wrong way to grieve - there’s no one size fits all - but you’re not alone in feeling this way. It sounds like you’ve not given yourself the time to grieve as you’ve been supporting your mum - I found this website today because I feel broken too for similar reasons. Holding others up can be exhausting.

My dad died in Feb following an operation for cancer and now it looks like my mum also has cancer. Really not sure if I can go through it again. I’m dreading new year - I don’t want to leave 2025, the year where my dad was alive and start a year that he’ll never be in, as well as then facing my mum’s illness.

You are not alone. You’re grieving. Give yourself time. Be kind to yourself. Sending healing wishes your way and I really hope your mum gets better.