Lost my Dad to Covid-19

My Dad passed away on 11th February.
He went in hospital on the Sunday and passed away by Thursday. The funeral is 31st March.

I am struggling, my heart is broken and I am full of fear, anxiety and pain.

I am trying to get through each day.
I’m so hurt, so angry, bitter and I keep having negative thoughts like going over our past. And I hate the world we live in right now.

I have friends and family who are supportive. But I can’t explain my emotions and I just keep getting upset. I feel weak. As I’m planning the funeral and keeping busy with work, I’m scared I’m not mourning in the right way and it will hit me even more when the funeral is over. I am so scared that I won’t be able to cope.

I feel a lot of pressure on my shoulders. I’m trying to make other people happy to keep the peace.
I’ve lose my confidence and belief in myself and I don’t know how I am going to get through this.

It’s hard to have any hope with anything the way the world is right now. It’s heart breaking.

Is anyone else feeling this way?

I don’t want to give up but I feel like I’m drowning.

Hi RavenRose

Sorry for losing your Dad, 4 week ago, with the funeral family always has its opinion. You will never pleased everybody.
I think that when the funeral is over it is when really hit. The things you panic about suddenly it begin to happen but never as you thought or imagen.
Very different people reactions be prepare to be alone and seek for support with your family if is possible.

Hope it does not happen to you but Normally friend and family desapear, help is rare.

How you are feeling the truth is that most of us feel that way at some point early or later we feel that way.

Stay in touch with this community, it helps.
Sue Ryder offer a free counselling so might help you and cruse offer help too. Recently i read that curie also offer phone bereavement service.
In this community some people help.
Warm regards. Xx

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Hello RavenRose.

I am so sorry to hear of your very recent loss, and the pressure you are feeling at present.
Devi is quite right, please keep posing on here, our lovely members who are in their own grief, will be able to offer comfort and friendship.
Devi is also correct, Sue Ryder do offer an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: www.sueryder.org/counselling.
And Cruse Bereavement offers a helpline, email support, and counselling and support groups through their local services: 0808 808 1677, helpline@cruse.org.uk, http://www.cruse.org.uk/bereavement-services.

Take care,
Audrey,
Online Community Team

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Hello thank you so much for taking the time to respond to me.

I think I have blown things out of proportion In my own mind as this is the first time I’ve ever planned a funeral and I’m just looking for validation from everyone. But as you have said I cannot please everybody.

I’ve had a few really dark days but at the moment I’m not too bad so I know that these really painful feelings My come and go but they won’t be here forever. It’s all starting to sink in now and I’m realising I will never see him again. I am trying to just sit with my feelings and let them come and go whether they are good or bad. I know I will be okay. I will keep checking in on here and will also try and get some counselling after the funeral because I know that’s when I will struggle.

Thank you
Raven Rose x

Hi Audrey thank you for taking the time to message me. When I wrote this original post I was in a bit of a mess. I’ve had some time to collect my feelings and really let them sink in. I know there will be good days and bad days. Right now I am doing okay in the circumstances. Thank you for your advice I will be sure to stay on this site and talk about things when I need to. It does really help reading other peoples stories it makes me feel less alone. I will try and have some counselling when there is some available. But I am going to speak to my doctor also. I should have had counselling some years ago but I was on a long waiting list I never got round to doing it in the end but I know it will be good for me.

Thanks again
Raven Rose x