Lost my dad to suicide in 2020 and I can't get over it

I don’t even know what to say or write or even expect from this. My dad was my whole world, im an only child with 4 children aged 11 up to 23. My dad died 20 months ago and I just can’t get over it. I’ve had amazing support from everyone yet I feel so alone. I feel like everyone is getting on with their lives and I’m stuck on a merry-go- round watching but can’t get off. The pain I feel is still qs raw as it was the day the police told me they had found him,he was 66 years old. I’ve recently become a nana for the first time and it kills me inside that he never got to meet them, he would have been the best great grandad. I just don’t know if this ache will ever go, I feel like a piece of me went with him, literally, I don’t feel the same without him

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Dear @Mylise79

Welcome to the Community. I am so sorry for your loss and for the pain that you are going though. Congratulations on becoming a nana.

Have you considered booking an appointment with your GP to let them know how you are feeling and to get support and possibly consider Counselling for someone to talk to. There could be local Bereavement groups in your area that you could join.

I would like to guide you to the following organisations that will be of help and support to you.

Sue Ryder Counselling

Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide (SOBS)

Samaritans

Sue Ryder have also recently launched a new Grief Self-Help Service which you may also find helpful which has useful tools and resources.

You are not alone and the Community here is of amazing support to connect to with members who have experienced what you are going through. Please continue to reach out and take care of yourself.

Pepsi

I feel the same. My father died on Friday and due to a disability I lived with him. We had the same hobbies watched the same films It will be hard to get motivated without him.