Lost my dad when I was 13

Hi there
So I lost my dad when I was 13 years old and at the time I just seemed to brush it off and carry on with life….
Now that I’m 34 I still dont really know who I am i have a 5 year old daughter who is my world a loving partner and a step son from age of 4 years old…and he is now 14

All I know is losing my dad has messed me up as years have passed by I can get very angry with people….i have become very introverted and can’t stand being around most people in a social setting…… but at work I am fine confident and out going seems all I know is work!

I don’t really know why I’m on here just looking for advice from anybody really who has had a similar experience oh also he committed suicide after the split with my mum.

How did you guys react and how did you emotionally deal with it ?

I find I’m very angry inside at times and do sometimes take it out on loved ones and family!

20 years on I feel not confident anymore only at work.
Family events I don’t want to attend just never feel in the mood. I push people away all the time and can’t be arsed with them.

It’s caused me a lot of social anxiety too hence why I avoid a lot of things.

I blush when embarrassed angry or any real emotions really even if I get caught off guard

I dunno I just feel since the passing of my dad all them years ago I’m no longer the confident young out going lad that I was and don’t think I will ever find that jack the lad again in myself… it’s caused me to lose friends family relationships all sorts and can only put it down to that tragedy from being a young boy.

Any advice welcome thanks for reading

Dan

Hello @Dan07arsenal ,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you feel like your grief has changed you as a person. I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your dad, while you were still so young this must have been devastating for you. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.

You may also want to look at Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide - http://uk-sobs.org.uk/ 0300 111 5065. They offer support to those bereaved by suicide.

You might also find this article useful - Losing a parent - coping with the death of a parent | Sue Ryder

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,

Alex