hello, im new to this site…
i lost my dad this year unexpectedly, i was there from just after he collapsed to his last breath. i used to be a carer so end of life isnt new to me. but it hit different with a parent. he had a very short illness but still wasnt expected to pass away. it was very traumatic and i miss him more than i can even explain.
my relationship with my partner has gone down the drain we barly talk. i have two amazing kids, 9 and 3 my 9 year old is more supportive than my partner. christmas is being talked about for obvious reasons now and i just dont want to be around my mum sister or my partner. ive told him to take the kids to his mums but i dont want to go. this caused trouble. i spend most days crying alone. hiding it from everyone. im giving myself daily head aches because of it.
am i being selfish? my dad was my rock and i miss him so much.
Awh I am so sorry for your loss. My husband just passed away yesterdsy so i completely understand you feel that you dont want to ‘celebrate’ christmas. I dont want to go to my husbands funeral and deal with everyone telling me how sorry they are.
But you jave two amazing little people who love you so much and depend on you. I believe they will help you get through the day and all the other days ahead.
My children are 17 and 15 and this morning I just dont see how I will do it but he would be so angry with me if i wallowed and didnt step up for his babies. I am sure your dad appreciates how much you love him and how difficult it is but hed also want you to make sure his beautiful grandchildren are okay. They wont have the full you just now but dont completely withdraw from them, they need you and hopefully it will get better. At christmas be with your children, they need you and you need them.
im so sorry for your loss! xx
I too just want to be alone for a while.
I need to consider my mother who is now living alone for the first time in her life at the age of 70, and my partner who is dealing with me and my grief strongly. She doesn’t feel like she can tell me how hard things are because she believes it’s selfish of her to do so. She sees my sadness and is powerless to help.
You need to deal with your own grief before things get better - have more conversations like this, talking always improves or clears things up.
I lost my Dad a week and a half ago and I am struggling to accept it. It was sudden and traumatic and I completely understand about not wanting to celebrate Christmas. It’s my birthday a week after dad’s funeral and I feel I’m being forced to celebrate when all I want is to be quiet and get my head around Dad no longer being here. He was with me at every point in my life. I’ve never bought a car without him and his advice. He was such a huge part of my life and I feel i am struggling. I don’t feel like me anymore. It is the worse feeling I have ever experienced and I have had a lot of anxiety including a panic attack on the motorway and had to pull off. It was terrifying. I’m not sleeping. I just want to wake up and Dad still be here. I miss him beyond words.