Hi , I lost my dad 10 weeks ago.
He had been diagnosed with prostate cancer that had spread to his bones approx 9 years ago , but at the beginning of March this year , whilst having a scan for a potential bowel blockage , the medics found the cancer had spread to his kidney and Liver.
He went in for treatment for an impacting in his bowel, on the 10th March , treated successfully, then was back in hospital on the 14th of March for breathing difficulties and further impacting treatment . The 17th of March I was called in as he had deteriorated quite a bit and he died the following evening on the 18th of March at 9.12 pm .it was all so fast.
10 weeks on from his death and 5 weeks on from his funeral , it am really struggling to come to terms with his death. Greif has been described as coming in waves, these waves are 100ft tall and absolutely hit like a brick wall.
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I am so deeply sorry for your loss of your Dad, Denise. What a beautiful photo you have shared of him. It makes me smile to see a glimpse of his energy.
I think I can relate somewhat to the stage you are at with this impossible transition. I lost my Dad this past January, also to prostate cancer that had spread widely to his liver after being what he thought was cancer free for nearly 10 years. It also went very fast at the end, and I am still trying to process those last days and his physical absence from my life.
The waves you describe are so real. I can go a couple days and be fine, and then have a week of deep grief, which can feel paralysing. Especially as I have no only else in my close circle who is going through this right now.
I feel you. Keep going. It is all we can do but try find our way. One day at a time. (Sometimes one hour at a time, I say.)
Thank you for posting here. I have not had the words to do so until you shared your story.
Sara
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Hi Sara , im sorry you lost your dad too 
Thank-you for your kind words . They mean alot. Its so tough isn’t it .
Im relieved that das process of dying was a swift one , but like you say missing his physical presence is so hard .
Yes, take one day at a time , and yes each hour sometimes.
Its shocked me , the strength of the waves , they are brutal.
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