Lost my dad

I lost my dad 4 weeks ago suddenly and I’m so lost. He was my best friend . We spoke for over a hour a day on facetime and I would visit once or twice a week fo clean and do his shopping. He was fine the day before he did loose weight but he said he was dieting and he was getting out of breath but he said it was because he was getting old. He was cheery making plans and happy. He was so scared of getting covid I’m so glad he didnt get it but I feel like my heart is missing. The last three years we have been very close since he lost his wife I miss our conversations our trips to the shops, the banter he was very funny and his stories. He was a second dad to my kids and best friends with my husband. We are all so numb we just expect the phone to ring and him to chat and laugh

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Dear Lakeside113,

It sounds like you and your dad had a very loving relationship and I can understand you feel lost without him, especially because his death was so sudden. Having lost my dad a few years ago I know how hard it is and how it changes your life. I still have a message from him on our phone that I never want to delete. A big part of your life is missing, but he will forever be in your heart and I hope that you will find comfort in the many happy memories you have of him. xx


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I have gone through the Alexa app and recorded all his voice notes to my phone so I can still here him, what’s made it worse os people turn so nasty after a death and that’s made it 100 times harder I’ve lost 24 pounds in 4 weeks from the grief

Good idea to record his voice that way. I am not technical at all, so would not have a clue on how to do that. Maybe one day I will get out some old video recordings and watch them.

Your weight loss sounds very worrying. Unless you have eaten very little in those 4 weeks, I suggest you contact your GP who may want to run some tests to make sure there is nothing else is going on.

Even if you have lost your appetite, please try to get the calories in that your body and mind need. Someone once told me that grief is hard work and costs a lot of energy and I think that is true.

When you say that people ‘turn so nasty after a death’ are these people you care about and would have expected support from, or people you have to talk to for practical issues? Sometimes people do not realise how their words come across, and I think it is okay to tell them that you find their words hurtful to make them realise and give them a chance to apologize.

Take care,

My weight loss is because I have no appetite. Unfortunately I got threatened by someone close to him because I was not answering the phone so I ignored them as I couldn’t deal with it then I for more threats. I feel so alone


So sorry for your loss. Iv lost my dad this year. It’s like the end of the world. Nothing to look forward to, like yourself I would spend time with dad taking him Shopping etc. He sadly got COVID was stable but suddenly they said he won’t make it. Don’t know how I will spend the rest of my life without him.sending you love and prayers. :heart::pray: really don’t know what to say as I’m struggling too.
Best wishes