I have never joined anything like this before but I have felt the need to. 4 weeks ago I lost my dad, he had an operation that went wrong and unfortunately passed away after many weeks of him trying to recover in ICCU. I was fortunate to be by his side when he passed but I was alone and those last 24 hrs with him were utterly traumatic. Some people try to tell me I should feel comforted with the fact I got to be by his side … which in a way I am but at the same time all I remember are the sounds, smells and visuals of the room he passed away in. I live quite far away from my dad and spent the weeks prior travelling so much to see him with my 6 month old left at home too. I have kept busy planning the funeral and sorting his bungalow out , probate etc … I feel like I have had no time to process him passing. I cried so much during the weeks travelling to see him and the day he did pass that I feel I have ran out of tears. The funeral was yesterday and I felt so emotional but I couldn’t cry as I felt empty inside. I have a lovely support network at home but at times I just put a brave face on.