Lost my eldest brother on Nov 3rd

My poor brother was found dead in his home in Ireland on the 3rd of November he was 63 . I am numb with grief and my other siblings are too. We don’t know the full cause of his death as there is still investigations ongoing he had long term mental health problems.wouldnt let anyone in his house and was on a lot of medication. I felt so distressed when I saw the condition he had been living in my sister told me he would only let her clean a small part of his living room she darent touch anywhere else or he would fall out and become very upset . It was part of his illness but I feel angry that mental health services or someone from housing were not alerted and that maybe he would have got help . He lived between the sitting room and the toilet and kitchen , never used his bedrooms. I can’t stop crying when I think of him laying there for five days before he was found though the coroner said he went in his sleep . He had not been eating for weeks and drinking seven bottles of peppermint a week for two weeks again my sister said to him he should go to the doctor but he refused he had been vomiting a lot as well . I don’t know what to think anymore and feel he was neglected and that he knew he didn’t have long to go . My only comfort is that his death was peaceful. I live in the UK so hadn’t saw him for about a year though spoke by phone . We have to wait six months before we know the exact cause and are able to register his death . I Just feel so brokenhearted and haven’t been able for anything much since I returned home .

Dear @MKB

Welcome to the Community. I am so sorry to hear that you have recently lost your brother.

There is a helpful article about grieving the loss of a sibling on the What’s Your Grief website. This is an American site, but it’s such a universal experience and they talk about how grief for a sibling is often overlooked and overshadowed. This may be of help to you, and you may identify with some of the information within the article.

Cruse Bereavement have information on Losing a Sibling which may be of support and help to you.

You can connect with members here who are grieving a sibling by typing Loss of a Sibling in the search bar. I hope this will be of comfort and support to you.

Take one day at a time and be gentle with yourself. You are not alone, we are all here for you. If you need further information, please email online.community@suerydercare.org.

Take care.


Thank you Pepsi. I am still struggling but taking each day as it comes. I will check out the other sites as well and appreciate your words of comfort.

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