I lost my granny (dads mum) in April this year suddenly. My granny was everything to me, she was like a mum to me, my best friend, my nurse, I would tell her everything and I trusted her with my life. At the start I felt numb and to be honest I do still have that feeling to some extent but now within the last few weeks I have cried, I feel like a part of me died that day she did. My family just celebrated her first birthday without her being here and now Christmas is coming up and it is the first without her, it will be hard because my family all got together at her house on that day every year to exchange gifts.
This year my mums family are all spending Christmas together at a lodge because we also nearly lost my other grandmother (my grandmother, mums mum). This was sudden and unexpected also. I have spoken to my mum and explained that I will find Christmas this year hard so if I need to leave and go for a walk not to worry I just need space.
I have so many thoughts and feelings going on inside my head. I haven’t spoken to anyone about how I am feeling because I don’t want to upset anyone, I am also not very good at talking to people in general about how I feel.
