Hi Tracey, I can’t say I know exactly what you are going through because we all feel differently but I do know the emptiness & the pointlessness. I thought I was coping quite well but now the tears have started again. I have 2 grandchildren , 9 & 5 , and I have being doing my best to be strong in front of them but you know , they don’t mind me crying . They have found their own ways. The youngest does worry how old you have to be before you die and the eldest goes off on her own to talk to granddad. I have been writing my feelings in a book but when I read the words back I still cannot properly express my feelings. There are not enough words in the world to describe my world now. I am at the bottom of a pit with no way forward, or so it seems today but each day is another survival. You are doing really , really well so keep at it love. Just keep at it . People say well meant things like keep strong for the children but unless they have lost part of themselves , which husbands are, they do not really understand how futile the words are. Just get up each day. You will find a way forward , as will I but knowing other people are there is a big help to me. I was breaking up , which is why I wrote in and already I find it soothing , just to talk. My heart goes out to you, so young . Let yourself go when you can. I wish I could make it better for you but I’m finding that there are lots of us widows out there and we are all hoping for better things and we all share the pain. You are not alone love, we all send good thoughts to each other. You can do this, you really can. Keep writing.