I lost my husband on 13th June and the grief is unbelievable I was wondering if bereavement counseling would help
Hello, I’m so sorry, hunni.
I lost my husband at the end of May. I’ve had a couple of telephone counselling sessions, arranged through my employer. Personally, so far, I have to say that I’m not finding they are helping. Having said that, it 100% depends on the counsellor and the situation.
Try it and give it a chance. I am sticking with mine just now.
Take care x
I lost June on June 17 and am having my first session tomorrow with a Counsellor from the Hospice. I don’t know if it will help, or even if I want it to, but I’m thinking it can’t make me feel worse or more lost than I am now.
You do what you think is right for you.
I had counselling over the phone for 6 weeks at first all I could do was cry I found it helped a little. See how it goes I got a lot of my chest. X
I found it difficult to open up to a stranger, which made things difficult
Thank you for all your replies
Hi I’m so sorry. I tramaticly lost my wife at the end of may. I’ve been having councelling over the phone with same person for last 8 weeks. I’ve got 2 sessions to go. I have never met the person and that helps in a way as I can talk about anything. I’ve said things to her that I’ve not told anyone as I don’t think other people will understand.
Give it a try it helps me but may not be for everyone. I don’t have a suppot network so for me it helps to fill the gap
Hello, I’m going for my first session next week, although I already feel negative about it as I know why I feel so low, Will talking to a stranger, albeit a professional councillor help? I’m open to anything at the moment as life if so miserable and I just can’t really see how it will ever change. I’m 61 have family and friends but the loneliness and loss are overwhelming and I often wonder what I’m getting up for. I am thinking of looking for a job but I’m this climate it’s unlikely and I think I’m too much of a mess. So I’ll give it a go with the councillor and go from there.
I felt the same before it started. I can’t give you a list of how it helps but I think it has as I can say exactly how I feel without being judged. Along with a long list of things that went wrong over a few days the directors forgot or misplaced her ashes. Spoke to councillor on Monday and she didn’t know what to say. Use it to your advantage. I’m glad I have. You have to do what’s right for you
Thank you Jay - the thought of opening up to a stranger when I can’t talk to close friends is rather intimidating. I’m not naturally one to talk about my feelings and emotions - one of the things June would have changed about me if she could have - but as I said, I feel I have nothing to loose so will take a deep breath and try and talk to the lady this evening.
BTW - this is not been a good morning for me, all I’ve done is sit with her and feel very down.
I feel I want to but am still unsure if I can face it to be honest,I think I might leave it a little longer.Thank you all for your replies it has really helped me.lots of love. X
I had telephone counselling for six weeks during the beginning of lockdown. I found that it helped during that time. The reason was, I think, there was no pressure to go out and socialise. Now it’s beginning to ease the old problems are beginning to surface again, always being the one without their partner in a restaurant. Am finding it really hard, I just want to run away from theses gatherings.
Ali, my wife passed away 6 weeks ago today and I got in touch with Cruse Bereavement only to discover there was a waiting list of 12 to 16 weeks, when all I wanted to do so desperately was to speak to someone now. I’ m currently on the Cruse waiting list.
I have had counselling twice before - first time in my mid-20s (I’m now 64) when I was at that time at the lowest point in my life. Fortunately I came to the realization that I needed help and I eventually called the Marriage Guidance Council (now called Relate) and every week I attended a lady counsellor for the best part of a year. For me, it was the best thing I could have done. We were strangers to each other, but because of that I felt I could tell her my innermost thoughts and feelings and she would not pass judgement on me. She was an excellent listener and helped me to understand parts of myself which I hadn’t considered before.
Second occasion was about 8 years ago when I had to stop work because of my wife’s health problems. I was a freelance IT worker and work was a huge part of my life and how I judged myself as a useful human being. When I lost that I hit rock-bottom, became much more introverted, wasn’t communicating with my wife and I was a nightmare to live with. I managed to get my GP to refer me to a counsellor for an 8-weeks period.
Both of my counselling sessions were face-to-face activities, which I think is much superior to telephone-based sessions. My preference would always be for face-to-face sessions as I believe there is so much more to be gained from expressing emotions that way, rather than remotely.
Counselling may not be right for everyone, but if there’s the remotest possibility that it might help you, I would always suggest taking the opportunity to see someone. If it turns out not to be for you, there is no need to continue with it.
Wishing you all the very best.
Thank you Alston,12 to 16 weeks is an awfully long time to wait for counselling but I tend to agree with you regarding seeing a councillor face to face as I can’t really express my feelings over the phone. I am so sorry for your loss and well done for seeking help for yourself, we both lived with my husbands cancer for 8 years and I nearly had a breakdown on many occasion. Once again thank you and if I can get to see a Councillor face to face I will give it a go.
Thank you Montague,I fully understand how you feel this is such a shock to us all and something that I never thought would ever happen to me.