Lost my husband

Hi all. I lost my beloved husband very suddenly on 20/4 in a motorbike accident. We have a 2yo and a 4mnth old who spent the first five weeks of life in intensive care with undiagnosed heart problems and is still on oxygen and meds now. How on earth do I go on? People tell me to find strength for my sons but I just can’t. I adored my husband absolutely, and to die, such a pointless, avoidable death at 31 sickness me. I feel devastated and panicking all the time. I dread waking in the morning and every second there after. I’ve spoken to cruse bereavement but it didn’t help much. Neither did seeing my gp or a medium. I don’t want to go on without him. I don’t want to make memories or get old with out him. I’m only 28 and the rest of my life seems so long. Help me.

Hi hun im so so sorry for your loss we never had no children yet but I’m 39 in a week and a half I lost my soulmate of seventeen years on October the 24th gone so it is six months and ten days today he passed away in my arms three months before his 40th birthday I cant describe the pain im utterly truamatised witnesing it all happen in front of my eyes all my dream and hopes have been stolen we planned to grow old together everything my life has been blown apart taken away so cruelly and brutally I understand you you only want to make memories work your soulmate it’s mentally and physically heartbreaking all I can say is im on a waiting list for cruse heard they aren’t much use what’s a few words of encouragement they don’t know our bonds and connections with our partners what our dynamics were little jokes pet names breaks my heart to think the resteraunts will be full of people with a candle lit over the weekend just as we were last year not knowing what we to become your in my thoughts message anytime Adele x

Hi Laura, so sorry to read about your husband. I chanced upon this video by Nora McInerny, she’s a young American widow.
https://www.ted.com/talks/nora_mcinerny_we_don_t_move_on_from_grief_we_move_forward_with_it
I think she can help you more than i can.
Stay strong. Kieran

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I’ll also look at the video thanks kieran and so sorry for your horrendous loss in my thoughts take care Adele x

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Thanks Adele, thinking of you x

Thankyou for your kind words means alot take care as much as possible x

Thank you all for your kind responses. I didn’t realise I had notifications switched off. I will watch that video thank you Kieran and I have also signed up to the online councilling service they are trialling. Thanks all x

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Hello Laura

What a tragedy for you and your lovely children.

Sudden death is horrendous and I would guess that you are still in shock. It is all so recent for you.

My partner died suddenly and unexpectedly 14 months ago.and I still can’t believe its happened to us.

All I can say is accept and ask for all the practical help you can with your children, from family and friends.

People say all sorts of things, they want to help but it must be so hard to find strength and keep going when all you want and need is time to grieve for your lovely husband and to take it all in.

I’ve used the website After Talk and their Private Conversations section helped me a litle.

I wish you well in the weeks ahead and I hope the support you find on this site helps you keep going. Take care.Jx

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In my thoughts take care speak soon xx

Kieran, I watched the video too, thanks for pointing it out.

Laura, don’t be put off by the bit of humour in it. The phrase ‘We don’t move on from grief. We move forward with it’ makes perfect sense.

I am so sorry for your loss Laura. I know it hurts like hell and there is little anyone can do or say to make it any easier for you. I hope you find some comfort from this site, as I have. You are not alone.

Sending love and strength to carry on. Xx

Laura I have had 5 online counselling sessions, my final one I’ve scheduled for 22nd. Wanted to wait for this one until after the 1st anniversary of Alan passing away. They have been a huge help to me and feel sure you will find them helpful and supportive too.

I was signed up by my GP to attend our local bereavement clinic at our local hospital, the counsellor I’d been assigned for the duration of my sessions cancelled the appointment one hour before it was due to start because she couldn’t get childcare. That threw me. I refused further sessions with this person, had no confidence in her. A private counsellor was recommended by a friend and I’ve seen this lady 3 times so far, she comes to our home which I much prefer.

Goid luck with your sessions and I’m sure they will help you.

There’s also lots of books on grief. You’ll find a lot of them mentioned in one of the forums on here.

If you’d like me to send you the titles of the ones I find particularly helpful for me, please let me know and I’ll be more that happy to help

Blessings
Jen☆

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