Hi I lost my Mum suddenly 2 weeks ago. My son and I also lived with her for the past 22yrs. She was so happy as we’d decided to move with my son to the town where his next degree was. The house we shared lived in was up for sale. My life has fallen apart as not only has my Mum died she died intestate. The 3 of us were family. I’ve 2 brothers who didn’t speak for 30/10 yrs respectively. A dad that walked out and left us with his debts. We had light at the end of the tunnel. Her wishes were to move buy the house for my son and we’d live happily ever after. Yet now she’s gone. It’s just me sorting funeral. Not one e’strange’d family member has spoken, offered to help/pay etc. I was also her carer for last 2 yrs. So I’m so upset she has cheap funeral as she deserved more. Plus everyone keeps telling me to grieve but I don’t have that luxury, as I’ll be homeless soon with my son as my dad and 2 brothers will inherit everything mum and I worked so hard for to keep. I feel so sorry for my mum, as she’d never want this to happen.
Hi
I’m so sorry that you have lost your mum ,it is one of the worse things that happens in life as to me mums are also your best friends .and with all the other things that are happening to you at the same time I carnt imagine how you are feeling , there is nothing myself or perhaps other people can say to make it better for you at this time ,but please post on here as people do care and feel your pain , jon
Dear Virgo,
I am so sorry for your loss and your current situation.
I am not sure how the legal system works but I would say that you need to take legal advice about your status with regards to the house. Perhaps visit the Citizen’s Advice Bureau and see if they can help you find out what legal rights you have.
There many be a way that you can keep your home but I am not sure.
Take care of yourself at this very sad time.
Caroline
So sorry to hear about your mum, I do understand that part, my mum died on October, also my siblings dont speak to me, I wasnt included in the funeral arrangements also no comfort when I went to the funeral, I just went and then went home, so I know how really really hard that is. I cant imagine how bad that must feel to be losing your home too. I know how bad it gets when people dont speak to you but is there no way you could speak about the money side of it and nothing else or even if you could write to someone.
Hi thanks for replies. I’ve been to see a solicitor and they just said law is this… My dad even signed property over to her a couple or 3 years ago… It wasn’t kind gesture it was, you deal with debts. But he was still legally required to pay his share of mortgage. He didn’t. I’m not entitled to any money I put into house ie paying mortgage refurbishments etc. I was told by solicitor don’t pay any more mortgage and ask council to rehome you.
I’m also not entitled to any personal items in the home.
I’ve no idea where my dad is so can’t contest it.
I’m not sleeping as just all a blur and am I too old to say, “I want my mum.”
Hi Virgo,
We are never too old to say ‘I want my mum’ - I am 54 and say it often.
At least you have the legal advice even though it is not a good outcome. I am very sorry that you find yourself in this position.
Have you been to see your doctor to ask for support with sleeping?
Take care,
Caroline
Oh Virgo
I am so sorry to read what a terrible time you have had and are still going through. Yes of course you can want your Mum still, I want mine everyday.
I feel you should go to Citizens Advice Bureau for some help. If you have been paying into the house as mortgage payments you should have some legal rights. they would also be able to advise you on getting rehoused. This may be through housing charities or the council. They will be up to date with what you need to know. Surely if your Dad and brothers are going to inherit so should you be entitled to a share. Funeral costs etc could come out of your Mum’s estate so ask the solicitor about that as well.
You can make the day special for your Mum without an expensive funeral, her favourable music, flowers etc. With the flowers you don’t have to have formal arrangements that cost a lot, buy your own and make up bunches. Is there a friend who could sing at the funeral or do a reading for you.
This is a horrible and very worrying time for you and I can only sympathise.
Please take care of yourself. Maybe go to your doctor and have a chat if you get too anxious.
Mel.
I’m so sorry for your lost, I lost my mum a few weeks ago. Lose of your mum and best friend, is difficult enough without the added pressure of issues with your home. Citizens advice are extremely helpful. I wish you all the best but, keep posting, we all here o support you.
Hi thank you all so much. My son is singing and her favourite flowers were hydrangea so I’ve bought some silk ones and local florist is tying them for me. Then I can bring them home and keep them.
That sounds really lovely Virgo. It will be very special with your son singing and an excellent idea to have silk flowers. Hydrangeas are beautiful, I have one in my garden, looking forward to it flowering this year.