Hello I am new to this…I am struggling with grief and don’t know how to express it…
I lost my mum last year unexpectedly and before Covid…I have been emotionally stunted since and do not feel passionate about the things I used to…my work life is suffering as I run retreats and have not done one since…
In January of this year my beautiful dad was taken into hospital with pneumonia, no Covid on arrival and was doing ok with the meds…5 days later they said he had Covid and moved him twice to different wards …we couldn’t see him…he went to high dependency unit after antiviral drug …and my dad said he thought they’d done something to him…I was suspicious too as he was getting better and only had tiny tubes giving oxygen up his nose. Once Covid result came back positive, he had full face mask on and it was down hill from there and he passed away in 9th January, thank goodness I and my daughter were with him…I’ve never seen my dad like the a before so frail…he was so young for 76…had a least another ten years in him…and for this to happen after my mum and I hadn’t dealt with that has left me feeling numb and not trusting in the system or myself or anyone…
I cannot express my pain as I’m a busy mum with a autistic child who started having seizures and had 3 on dad’s funeral day as he couldn’t express his pain of his granddad not being here anymore:cry:…they were very close and only my dad looked after my boy…I am so stuck and need to get on but I cannot feel like I used to…
I’m glad I found this and feel connected to people who understand what I’m going through… losing parents is the hardest saddest time for anyone…
Jan 144 I’m so sorry to read that you have lost your mum and now your dad so recently - that is such a lot of grief to manage, and with covid everything feels so much more complicated and difficult. I think it is normal to feel numb, especially in the beginning, when everything is so raw. As you say, you haven’t been able to deal with losing your mum let alone your dad now passing. Having lost my mum last month, I can only say that I understand how painful it is to lose parents - I cry, shout, curl up in a ball sometimes and just wait for the pain to pass for a while - whatever it takes. I know that might be difficult with your son to look after - that sounds like such a sad situation for you all. This is a really great place to find support and I hope knowing there are many other people who understand what you are going through will be helpful for you. Sending hugs xx
Thank you so much your response has has helped me already…just to know there are others with me on this journey…and I am so sorry to hear about your mum too …and thank you for the tips…those things you say cry curl up in a ball…I don’t do for trying to keep a brave face for the rest of the family…but it is needed… bless you…
You have had such a difficult year. My heart goes out to you. It sounds like you are not getting any support for yourself and that your are struggling with your work life as well as caring for your autistic son and helping him cope with his grief.
Are there any friends or relatives you can turn to? Does your son get support from teachers or counselors? If not, have you asked your GP for help?
Losing both parents within one year is so hard. I know this from experience, They are the people we turn to and who have loved us all their lives.Losing them leaves such a big hole in our lives and at times the emotions we feel can be overwhelming. I now what you mean by no longer feeling passionate about the things you used to do. Some jobs can be done sort of on auto-pilot, but that is probably not possible for the type of job you do. Hopefully, as times goes on, you will be able to return to it.
Have you considered making use of the free bereavement counseling that Sue Ryder offers? You deserve support at this difficult time.
Thank you so much for you response:pray:.and yes my son gets help at school but I live 33 miles away from my home town and I my have my 19 year old daughter here…she helps where she can and we travel back and forth from Blackpool to Bolton for support and to see family…My family are amazing and so help…I had big plans this year for a new business venture…but I realize now I cannot do it at the present time and I had also started Kundalini yoga teacher and that proving to be too.much…I am going to see if I can postpone it until later in the year…I think I tried to save in too soon with projects and they are merely a distraction from my grief… .So strange no t having parents in the world… Nothing will ever feel quite the same again…So thank you for this…and I would really love some counseling…how do I go about recieving this…
…they were very close and only my dad looked after my boy…I am so stuck and need to get on but I cannot feel like I used to…
