Hi everyone. I lost my Mum just four days ago. She had been ill for a decade, in hospital for the last seven weeks. Life has revolved around her illness and hospitals for a long time. She was a brilliant Mum and we were very close.
For the first two days, I couldn’t stop crying. I felt completely out of control: I had panic attacks for the first time and swung between feeling numb, incredibly anxious and then suddenly really violently crying: the intensity and despair was frightening. Yesterday and today, I’ve felt absolutely nothing. I haven’t cried at all, even though today I was at the funeral home. I visited a friend and laughed when we talked. I know numbness is part of grief but this feels as alarming as the sobbing. I’d love to hear other people’s experiences of numbness please. I’mso sorry for all of your losses, too. Jx
JaneAS, I so very sorry for your loss. I dont think you need to be alarmed by the changes you are feeling and how it presents itself. Initially the shock of the loss and rawness of it will probably have hit you. However, there will be times of calmness where things almost feel ‘normal’ and you will laugh and chat. That is how I was. After the initial sobbing on the night of her death, i had periods of extreme calm where I wondered if it had really ‘hit me’ that she was gone. I had to organise things including the funeral and wake so was perhaps trying to focus on that. My point is, I think this whole loss and grief process is a journey and there will be bumps in the road (really hard days), tunnels (where things just kind of carry on and pass you by) and then beautiful scenery ( where you smile at happy memories or laugh with someone.) Take care and big hug. Xx
I lost my Mum in November 2025 and on the surface I seem to be coping well going about my normal activities. I was very close to my Mum, she really was my best friend. I spent a lot of time with her last year and was with her when she died. I feel like I am waiting for my life to implode. I don’t know if I am in shock, numb or am just blocking out all the emotions. I did feel very emotional when I received a call to tell me that her cats had been rehomed. She adored the cats so that was so important. I wonder when grief is going by to catch up with me. I don’t have any advice for you really but your story sounds similar to me. Do be kind to yourself.
I felt sadness, shock, guilt, numbness and now feel that I am functioning but living in a surreal world. I think that it is my mind’s way of protecting me from the awful reality, letting me process it slowly.