Lost my mum in 2019

I lost my mum in April 2019 not long my birthday, she became really ill very quickly. We ended up taking her to emergency doctors just after Christmas 2018 who admitted her straight into hospital, after many tests the doctor pulls me to one side & tells me they found a large mass so she was to go down for a CT scan/biopsies the following morning.

They had the results within a matter of hours & told me she had cervical cancer that was spreading rapidly, she must have had it a long time… she never attended her smear tests & it had already spread to her stomach, lungs, kidneys & was just a matter of time before it spreaded everywhere, I needed to contact family to say their goodbyes :cry::sob:

I became her full time carer & didn’t sleep for days at a time, eventually I had to have District nurses come out daily has she was adamant she didn’t want to stay in hospital. She became bed-ridden & was unable to move or talk.

She was only 59, after she passed away & we had her funeral I was forced to move out of mums property has it was a wardenated bungalow & instead of them helping me find something else, I was forced to move away from everything & everyone I knew.

I suffer really badly from my own mental health, many times I’ve contemplated suicide. I’ve been trying for almost 3 yrs to get back to where I belong but to no avail, I’m so lost right now I don’t know if I’m coming or going anymore.

Was told “oh you will get over it”, no you can never get over losing a parent (especially the only one you ever had)

I’ve even contemplated just leaving my things behind & just going, I hate it here

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Hello Ashley,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum in 2019 and how you are feeling; it must be really hard for you. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

You may also find the information pages on our website helpful - if you have a spare few minutes, please do take a look: https://www.sueryder.org/how-we-can-help/bereavement-information.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please do keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,


Hello Ashley.
I’d just like to acknowledge your post with heartfelt kindness and compassion. I lost my Mum just before Christmas. I struggle with my mental well-being too.
I’m sure you’ll get some helpful replies.
Do take care

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So sorry for your loss Tina19, its extremely difficult atm I can imagine but with kind words and support from people like yourself, these forums are helping

Take care xxx

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