Hello everyone. My name is Lola and I’ve lost my mum 3 weeks ago unexpectedly. I am in my 30s and finding it extremely hard to cope with this. My dad died when I was 17 and it took me a long time to process it, if one ever does, but because I was younger I feel maybe it was somewhat easier to process even if it took a long while. I am not sure if that’s correct, I just know it feels somewhat different, or I might not be remembering it well. I have a decade older brother but he lives in another country and has his own family so he’s coping differently with it.
I was very close to my mum and have spoken to her every day, several times a day. So I wake up every morning thinking I’ll contact her like always, but then remember that that will never happen again.
I have isolated myself from everyone and can’t talk to anyone I know at the moment. I’ve lost appetite and have no will to do anything. I do understand grief takes time.
It seems like my mum’s funeral was ages ago yet it’s only been 15 days. Not even sure what I’m doing here. I guess I thought people in here are the only ones who can truly understand how I’m feeling. None of my friends have lost their parent/s so they can only imagine, but the brutal reality is that it can’t be compared to anything they imagine.
Do we go back being ourselves after a while, or are we changed forever by this experience? I feel I’m not the same person anymore.
Lots of love to everyone, I hope you’re having a good day