I lost my mum in February and I am struggling badly I miss her so much I am a support worker for many years and have dealt with palliative care and passing of tenants but when it’s your own it’s different people say to me I should be used to it and should be returning to work but I just don’t feel ready or want to return to work yet I am still grieving I cared for my mum aswell I just miss her so much I don’t have anyone to talk to
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Hi Sasha,
I’m very sorry for your loss.
It has only been a very short time since you lost your mum and the loss and grief must be incredibly raw. Anyone who says that you should be used to it or who pass comment on when you should return to work are misguided at best.
I lost my lovely dad just over five months ago. We lost him two months after a cancer diagnosis and I cared for my dad. Everyday is a struggle and the grief relentless. I have been fortunate to be able to take a break from work as I still do not feel ready to return to work.
I have been told by councellor that the grief depends on the relationship that you have to the person you have lost. I have found my grief quite isolating as no one understands the impact that losing my dad has had on my life. My dad and I were incredibly close and I think unless you have had that close bond then people can’t always necessarily understand and they put expectations on us that we should be feeling better after only a few short months.
I have found reading people’s posts on here helpful. There are people who understand.
Xxx
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Thank you for replying to my message I am just taking one day at a time and I know when the time is right I will return to work as it has only been 2 months since her passing and we was very close and I cared for mum also and even though she was I’ll it was still a shock when we was told there was nothing else they can do for her and was making her comfortable I’m glad I was with her at the end but I would do anything to have her back people deal with grieve in different ways
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Hi Sasha,
I am also taking it one day at a time. I hope that when I do return to work I will be on more steady ground.
Take care
Xx
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Hi Sasha,
I am so sorry for your loss. I also lost my mum in February and still cannot accept she is gone. I don’t think anyone really understands the level of grief, pain and sadness you feel until they have experienced loosing someone they love deeply. You were clearly very close to your Mum and the loss is so hard to deal with. Only you know when you are ready to go back to work and no one else is in a position to tell you. I am now back at work but only because I work part time. I could not cope with being around people full time and find myself drained after just 2 days.
I also found that regardless of my mum having been ill before it still did nothing to prepare me for her passing. If anything, I thought she will get through this as she always has before.
It is a horrible journey but reading other people’s thoughts and feelings on this site has helped me. Some days I cope ok but I still cannot talk about my mum without crying and I still find myself getting up to to go and see her. Then I remember and it’s like a punch in the gut and a feeling of panic all over again. It’s heartbreaking, and I am learning there are no shortcuts through grief. Please know that we are here for you if you want to talk and that you are not on your own. Take care and much love, Gail
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Hello Sasha,
So sorry to hear about your lovely Mum passing. Is still very early for you and you need to take your time in grieving. I lost my Mum on 27th December last year. I took nearly two months off work. I’m a social worker. The work we do requires us to be strong for other people. We can’t be there for others when we are not good ourselves. It’s time to take your own advice and put yourself first. I’m up and down still and I feel work is helping but also I’ve acknowledged I have less patience with people now. I’m working on it! X
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