Lost my mum

Hello. I lost my mum 3 weeks ago. She was 57. She had us 5 children me the eldest and only girl. She was married to my dad and have been together for 38 years. It was a sudden death, she died from infection in hospital after being rushed in to A&E 5 hours before.
I have 3 children myself and I’m finding life very hard since she left. We was together every single day I took her shopping everyday just to get her out as she was in a wheelchair. She was such a lovely lady. She told me she was going to die and I thought she was trying to upset me and we fell out for a day. She didn’t just say it as a one of statement either, she said it often.
I don’t know how I am going to get through each day without her by my side, she was my best friend my rock my whole world. Now I’m trying to be a rock for my dad who is beside himself with heart ache. It feels like my heart has been torn apart. Where do I go from here ? I really miss my mum why did she leave ?.

Hi Kelly

I am so sorry to read of the loss of your Mum so recently. Three weeks is not long at all and so suddenly too. You sound like a lovely daughter taking your Mum out every day, those must have been very special times for you both.

Like you I was very close to my Mum and I was devastated when she passed away. I lived with Mum so it was very hard to be on my own afterwards. I still miss her as you do with your Mum.

You say about being a rock for your Dad which is wonderful and I am sure he appreciates it. Just being there for him must be making all the difference. You also have children who have lost their Granny so your life will be very busy and you must be exhausted. Please don’t forget to look after yourself too and if anyone offers you help take it so you can get some time to rest or relax.

All you can do is get through each day as best you can, each one is an achievement when done. Take time to remember happier days with your Mum. You will have some special memories of being with her just the two of you. I have lots of memories of being with my Mum too and those are what I draw on to help me when it all feels too awful to cope with.

Mel

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I’m so sorry for your loss Kelly. I lost my mum two weeks ago and we had her funeral on Tuesday. She was 90, but that doesn’t make her loss any less painful. I literally feel that my heart is hurting, the grief feels unbearable at the moment. I had to return to work the day after the funeral, which is much too soon, especially as I work as a funeral arranger. As awful as it sounds, dealing with other people’s loss, when all I want to do is come to terms with mine, is proving a challenge. I was in tears on my way to work this morning. The loss of any loved one is hard to contemplate, but the loss of my mum is like no other pain I have ever felt. My heart goes out to you.

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Hi Kelly. Sorry to read of your pain. You were clearly very close to your Mum. Your Mum also loved you so much that she shared things with you. I doubt she wanted to upset you. Take your time but as Mel says, make sure you find time for yourself.

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Thank you for all your kind words. It doesn’t get any easier and I miss her more and more. But your replys have helped in a way. To know that I’m not the only one that is suffering is so what comforting, it is best to talk about your feelings. I’m in a very dark place right now and there’s only my mum that could help me through anything like this I now have to cope on my own it’s like learning a new way of life. I’m sorry to hear of your losses too. Nothing comes close to the pain of losing your mum.

Hi Kelly I lost my mum just over three months ago and though I will always miss her I am finally letting go and crying less often. So I supposed I am just saying time will help and lessen the pain although you may not feel that now I know I didn’t but grieve as long as you need to and don’t rush to get on as of nothing happened and you will come through xx

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