Mum mum died 23rd sept 2016, and the pain still cuts through my heart I can’t go on I cry everyday, its so silly tears are rolling even now, I could understand if I was young but I’m 54 but she was my best friend ,my confidant, I have kids and grandkids and sisters and brothers, and dad, but since she’s gone I feel I have no on ,how did others get through this pain?
Thank you. T
Hi Tina,
I lost my mum on May 24th of this year, so I’m still in the early days, but I hope my words will bring some form of comfort to you.
I’m 24 and my mum was only 63 when she passed, but it doesn’t matter what age you are, there will never be a right time to lose your mum, you could be 14, 34, 54, 64 etc it will be one of the most painful experiences on your life. It puts you into a club of people you never wanted to join.
You will always mourn for your mum in some way, shape or form, she gave you life and was your first ever friend in this world. It’s not something you will ever get over, there will always be a mum shaped hole in your heart.
But…
If your mum is like my mum, she would never want this to hinder your life so much, but the fact you’re still grieving for your mum shows that she lived a life full of love. Your family may feel the same but don’t show it. If you haven’t, try talking to them, maybe they don’t know it’s still affecting you so much.
Grief is inescapable and painful, it feels like you’re suffocating but the only way to get out of it is to go through it. As I’ve said, it’s not something you will get over but you will learn to live with it and heal, it will leave a scar but that means you had a brilliant mum who you loved and loved you in return.
Death is a very sad part of life, and as hard as it sounds, try and celebrate your mums life and remember the good times.
I hope things take a turn for the better for you xx
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Hi Tina h,
I’m sorry to hear that your mum died in September 2016. As KNW93 said, it doesn’t really matter what age you are when trying to cope with a significant loss, as there never will be a ‘right’ age. Grief doesn’t stick to any particular timeline and is a very individual experience - some grieve heavily for a short period, whilst others grieve for many months or years. Ultimately it’s really important to take things one day at a time and move at your own pace. Cry when you need to and seek comfort from this community whenever you need support. You’re not alone here.
Take care,
Eleanor