Lost my 'one'

Lost the love of my life to stage 4 bowel cancer August 23. They said 5 years but she got 19 months We were soulmates and loved each other to the moon and back.

4 months on I am still devastated. She was only 53, we were looking forward to spending the rest of our lives together

I miss her so much, I talk to her everyday, the house remains the same, I cannot bear the thought of removing her things.

I lost my father 2 years ago and I thought that was bad but this is never-ending and far worse. I don’t know how to deal with it, all I do is go to work, then come home to an empty house, I have no drive I cannot be bothered to do anything . I don’t go out and stay in all weekend as have no enthusiasm for life.


I’m sorry you’re going through this. It is hard, it’s the hardest thing you’ll do. It’s very early for you still and the pain can be raw and all consuming but this does fade to a dull ache and then to waves of grief with calm spells in between.
I’m nearly a year in and can assure you that it does get easier. All the firsts will be hard as many of us have found out on here.

Take life an hour at a time, stick to the now. Looking ahead is just too painful. This never ends but gets manageable, you will always be grieving but life does become worth living again.

Keep reaching out on here and share your thoughts, frustration and misery. It’s better out than in and there’s always someone to listen.

I was 57, my partner was 49 and we had 17 years together until one day it was gone. Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed so live for today and even though you may think, you don’t want tomorrow, one day you will.


Thank you, I will try, just existing at the moment.

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Im so sorry you’re going through this pain, its completely unbearable. Its very early days, im widowed 16 months, and miss my soul mate every hour of every day. I got 3 weeks with him from diagnosis. What keeps me going? Ive no idea, but keeping going is what my hubby would want me to do. X


Thank you, I have no idea what I’m doing, have no drive, motivation to do anything, don’t want to be here without her.


Sorry for your loss. I can so resonate with your story. Lost the love of my life on 2nd December aged 55. I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with him. It’s only been 5 weeks and I miss him terribly, some days I don’t want to get out of bed. I’m going to try go back to work at the beginning of Feb to give me a purpose. My grown children are wonderful but nothing can fill that void I feel in my heart :heart:


Thank you, so sorry for your loss. I was a mess at 5 weeks, well still a mess now, everybody says it gets better with time, but it’s been 5 months for me and everyday feels the same as the first, she died in my arms, with me kissing her and I see it every night when I close my eyes, I was back at work after a couple of weeks but that was more a case of having to, work does help take the focus off, but coming home to an empty house hurts every time, it’s like my friends and family have all moved on but I cannot, she was taken from me too soon by a disease that is relentless, we tried everything both conventional and alternative treatments but nothing worked, watching her slip away from me has destroyed me.


My partner died with me by his side kissing him too. I am trying to do some little jobs to make myself get out of bed. Painted the banisters today (hard job :joy:) but put some music on and just got on with it. Nights are hard big bed with just me no one to put my cold feet on( he hated that :grin:) but I know I have to carry on without him. Just trying to get through another day but trying to remember the good times sending hugs x

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Hugs to you as well, I understand the cold feet :rofl:, I was in the same boat, would love to have them back….

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Exactly, it’s just so hard trying to think of another day without our loved ones but I’m hoping in time it will get easier. I’m a strong person and am going to set myself a little task everyday. Sending hugs x

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You are an inspiration, thank you for your kinds words x

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I’m always here if you need to rant cry or just chat about your day take care x


It’s hard infact hard is an understatement. I’m 8 months in, we have to keep going. I have 3 kids still at home (22,19 and11) which are the reason I’m still functioning.
All I can say is talk and do what you have to do to keep going :heart:


Exactly that, if I don’t want to get out of bed I don’t beat myself up about it now, I say you may have a better day tomorrow. X


I will do, thank you, I find it hard to talk about, only found this site today, have been keeping it inside x

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Thank you :heart:

I’ve only been on it a few days too :grin:

Hope your weekend is going ok

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Thank you, I hope yours is as well. I caught up with an old friend today who’s having a few problems so went to help him, which in turn helped the both of us, gave me focus and got me out of the house and I gave him some advice on what he is going through, Sunday - no plans, will probably be in bed all day

Glad you managed to go out. Stayed at my eldest daughters last night grandchildren had me playing Dodgeball!! It’s the most exercise I’ve had in months :grin:going home this morning quiet day today see what I can binge watch on Netflix.

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