Lost my only son

Hi , my son was 36 and a fit young man , he played football and cycled a lot , but around 3 months ago he started getting headaches which gradually got worse. He went to the doctor and a CT scan was arranged in the next 2 weeks. One night while in bed he had a seizure and vomited which caused a cardiac arrest. In hospital they managed to get his heart beating but his organs had been denied oxygen and he slipped away ,the post-mortem found a fast growing tumour in his brain. I am totally devastated and don’t know how to carry on


Dear Bluebird1

I read your post with sadness that you are experiencing such pain on the sudden passing of your son. Be sure there are people on here who do care and may have some comfort to give based on their own experiences.
I hope you find comfort on here, This is such a difficult time of year when facing loss.

Sending my sincere thoughts and condolences,


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We are suffering every day, but thank you for your kindness it really does help me get through the day .

Anytime, we are here for you x

Hi bluebird, very similar to my son 7 months ago , I did CPR and they got his heart started but organ failure in hospital so turned machine off. Heart disease in his case tho, such a shock no warning . So much pain . How do we deal with it? and Christmas to. My heart goes out to you, hope you find comfort here, we all feel your pain here like only those who have experienced it can. I don’t know how I would cope without this site, knowing so many others feel the same and I am not on my own helps. Keep posting for support.
Take care, be kind to yourself . Jss xx

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Hi it gave me great comfort reading your message and my heart goes out to you. I just walk around my house most days and look at old camcorder footage of my son when he was a child and cry my eyes out. I can’t really focus on anything because I’ve got no interest in anything anymore. Sometimes my friends call but I just sit there because I find it difficult to make any kind of small talk. Take care and stay safe, all my love

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Yes bluebird I am the same , no interest in anything anymore , dreading Christmas. There is a thread on this site called “ loss of our son aged 27” many of us having the loss of a child on there.
Have a look see if you can find it , type it in at the top of the page by the red magnifying glass should come up then. Lots of help and support on there.
Jss x

Dear Bluebird1

I know it is hard to accept that anyone can understand how you feel just now and the truth is they actually can’t. Grief caused by bereavment is very personal and though others try to empathise, they don’t know how it feels.

I can say this because, my youngest son (36 years) died just 19 weeks ago. I know how deep the hurt and loss is, but I don’t fully understand how you feel or what you are going through. I know that nothing seems to make any sense any more and there are more questions than answers.

People say time heals. It’s an easy statement for others to make. As a parent, I am not sure we can ever fully heal, but maybe , just maybe, with time, we can more easily accept, at least I hope so, because right now, normality. whatever that once was, seems very elusive.

Please, keep expressing how you are feeling and know, that although your grief is personal to you, other people really do care.

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Hi my heart also goes out to you, my son was also 36 when he died 9 weeks ago. Tonight (Xmas eve) he would have been home with us as he was still single. Now it’s my wife and myself just sitting and crying , we’re still numb and can’t believe that a fit athletic guy has been taken from us by a fast growing brain tumour. Tomorrow morning is going to be hard as it will be the Xmas without him . We just have to take it day by day. Take care and stay safe