Lost my partner to sucide

Hi I am 26 in 2018 I lost the love of my life Ryan he committed sucide I’ve lost my head abit as I wonder 18th September it was a sunny day and evening there would be dog walkers or people in the park ? 7 he left his sister and 7.30 he was found dead . Rumors going around the police killed him. I just can’t move on from this so the doctor recommended me use this maybe someone can help? I’ve gone of the rails abit I miss him so much and am finding it hard to form relationships as he was the only man I ever love.

I am so sorry to hear this. The loss of a soulmate via suicide is more painful than anything else.

Do you think you husband did something wrong, or was it racially motivated, or wearing similar clothes to someone the police were looking for? The police, like certain doctors and nurses, are well know for protecting themselves when an accusation is made against them. They agree their story first privately, then they lie their way through the inquest or enquiry or complaint, whatever it is.

Of course you’ve gone off the rails. Anyone would in your circumstances. I hope you have good friends and family member to help you.

I am a lot older than you. I have attended many inquests in my time. I’m going to DM you my phone number now. Please give me about an hour to have a bath and get dressed, if you can. My phone is with me at all times.

Love Christie xxx

Hello Chloe,

I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your partner. It sounds as though things are very tough at the moment and you are feeling overwhelmed.

I’m glad that you’ve been able to share how you are feeling here, and I hope that you find the community a good source of support. Everyone here has experienced the loss of a loved one and will understand some of what you are going through.

Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: www.sueryder.org/counselling

Another good place to get support is Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide - http://uk-sobs.org.uk/ 0300 111 506 and Support After Suicide Partnership http://supportaftersuicide.org.uk. They may help make sense of what happened.

Take care,


Online Community team

Hello Chloe,

I can so understand the pain that you are going through. I also lost my long term partner, through suicide, in June 2018.
It has been so tough and the fallout emmense. It’s something that I will never fully accept but I understand that my partner was just unwell and wanted to escape his pain.
I do hope that you have managed to find some support for you loss as it’s such a complicated grief. I’m here if you need to talk.
Sharon xx

Hi @Chloe2023

I have seen your texts on my mobile, but I’m 66, my eyesight has gone awol.

Please forgive me. I am looking for your number now - the phone is charging is another room…I have just sent you a text.

Christie xxx