Your words are absolutly right my liz was taken so quickly hope with chemo stroke friday then sepsis i checked Liz’s temp every day blood oxygen levels you name it no sign of infection nothing the stroke realy sidswiped me its Lizzie’s funerel monday god knows how ime going to cope so i understand your agony to me its a realm of pain i didnt know existed so try and keep going i have been trying to find group bereavement but nothing round here ime sure it would help but for now i have this wonderful site as a lifeline regards paul
Love and hope to you all 
John69
I’m not sure there’s any real point to carrying on, I’ve tried to function as usual but there’s no longer any joy in my life. Corban brought the joy his sudden death with no answers has taken a part of me I’ll never get back. Every night I go to sleep and hope I won’t wake up but every day I’m back to a fresh new hell of feeling it’s my fault for working that night. I feel somehow that day I should have known.
I will be thinking and praying for you Monday Paul. I got through the funeral okay. First visit to the grave had no feelings at all, good or bad. Second visit to the grave and third (Yesterday) I fell apart. We all suffer so much. Today for me was a bad day, hopefully tomorrow will be better, but never good. My darling Chrissie has gone and I can do nothing about it. I feel helpless, hopeless and useless. At the moment 30mins at a time. Best wishes, Paul,
from Blizzard.
How calouse of the couns thats what they are for. mine seemed a bit bored but then none of us are thinking rationaly when grief is involved cruz do counciling allso hospice try these maybe i was breaking down to what do they expect manup they say .thats easy to say by people who have never been through it i think it takes a strong person to post on here I’ve not been on site long but has made me feel like ime not altogether alone so keep trying i think group therapy would be best after all isn’t that what we are doing
Regards paul
My Tragiclife
So very sad to read how you feel. My partner died suddenly and like you I feel it’s my fault for not knowing something was wrong.
I try to keep going but there seems no point in the future without him there.
I hope life gets easier for all of us. J x
Hi dont feel guilty i think everyone thinks that… it realy is painful beyond words . I felt terrible guilt but now realise there was nothing more i could have done the guilt will go i spent days wondering could i have done more to save my sweethaert but i couldnt wether they are taken in diffrent ways this is beyond your control its life its my Lizzies funeral tomorrow and ime just doing a letter to her now know one will c it but me and my liz she will know how i felt and tried to keep her going your partner will know if you didnt love them you would not be on here trying to console them and saying your grief try writing to them it realy helps me hope your guilt subsides soon bless you paulu
Thank you Paulus,
I hope you are alright at Lizzie’s funeral tomorrow, I will be thinking of you and wishing you well. J x
Thank you so much for thoughts bless you. Regards paul
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I feel guilt for him self medicating instead of telling me, he was always laughing and joking with me. We never even argued I can’t conceive why he would hide it from me in that way. Is this just a thing men can do? X
Hi i think bereavement councling will realy help you .we men are brought up to hide our feelings its not right but thats life how could you know so how can you blame yourself i do hope you can get help with your grief .bless you .paul
Hi blizzard Lizzie s funeral yesterday was lovely i realy appreciated your email with best wishs even though you were going through a most horrendous time yourself .hope today you are feeling a tad better grief is a funy thing we have to greive or we would not be human ive been through terrible grief before and can only spk for myself. But your mind heals but its so slow you dont see it till one day you wake up one morning and you dont feel quite so bad and futile .anyway i hope it comes for you soon you deserve it .be kind to yours best wishs paul
Thanks Paul.
I am glad the funeral went well.
I doubt the pain and loss ever stops, but I hope to learn how to deal with it.
My best wishes for you Paul in your own loss.
Blizzard.