Lost my soulmate

The day before our 45th wedding anniversary my husband went for a scan as he had lost his appetite and wasn’t eating, that was the 17th may on the 7th June we found out he had pancreatic cancer he died on the 3rd July, we had been together for nearly 50 years I’ve lost my soul mate the pain is so hard to bear,
I have three great children two married with kids and one son still at home, I don’t want to burden them as there grieving so much too, so when they ask I say I’m ok,
I feel so lost and lonely I can’t concentrate on anything and really don’t know how I can go on without him I miss him so much it hurts

I am so sorry for your loss, it is a heartbreaking time, you will get a lot of support from everyone on this forum, it has been a life saver for me, I lost my husband of 50 years, 6 weeks after we celebrated our golden wedding anniversary last year, the doctors told me the tests confirmed he had cancer and 38 hours later he passed away. I was grateful he never knew. it is a very hard road we are forced to travel, I’d be lying if I said it was easy.

everyone on here understands your grief and will understand what you are going through now and in the times to come. we’re all at different stages of our grief. it is now 14 months since Alan passed away, some days it feels like it was yesterday. tears fall every day.

there’s no time limit on grief nor is there a quick fix. how we cope is personal to each and every one of us, I’ve found like many on here, writing in a journal each day as though I am talking to him, really does help me. perhaps when you feel ready to, you may find comfort in journal writing too.

please use the forum to help you through these dark days whether to express your emotions , vent any anger or just generally blow off steam. we are all guilty of this and still all do.

again, so sorry for your recent loss


Sorry for your loss too Jen,
Life is so hard and I really don’t want to be here without him, he was my first and only boyfriend we met on a blind date his best friend was going out with my sister,
It’s the little things that hurt like him making me a cupper taking my plate out after dinner feeding the dogs or just sitting in his chair watching sport on television now his chair is empty and so many thing remind me of him and the tears just flow
Thanks for listening x

…please do be truthful with them ( your "great " children ) tell them that you are not ok deep down inside, you are hurting just as much as they are, if not more…

Sending a (( hug )) as I lost my partner April 11th very suddenly, he was 74, i am 68, we had been a couple for 20 years, living together for the past 18 years…


Correction…" Linds " was meant to be Linda…wish we had correction button or a delete button…

Linda I am so sorry for your loss. My story is similar to your. My hubby was loosing weight and after tests which showed nothing he was sent for a scan. We were given the news on 18 March that he had pancreatic cancer which had spread to his liver and I lost him exactly 3 weeks later.
I too feel lost without my hubby and find the loneliness unbearable. I cried and cried and still have my moments. The pain of grief is awful and only when you experience it do you understand it. We are all here for you. Nothing anyone says will ease your tears but hopefully it will help you in that we feel it too every day.
Look after yourself and do what feels right. Others are right though you need to tell your family and friends how you feel. Mine have been brilliant and I’m sure at times they must have been frustrated with me but if I hadn’t talked to them they didn’t know what to do.
I’m going to be relying on them all heavily this next week to help me move and mop up my tears.
Big hugs. Message me if you want to talk. X

yes my kids do tell me off for keeping things from them but they did so much for there dad in the few weeks he was ill, and then to be by his bedside when he died they have been though so much they need time to grieve themselves and not worry about me,
We have a holiday booked in two weeks a cottage on the Norfolk broads me and my husband fav place my daughter son in law and baby my son and sister her granddaughter they said if I don’t go they wont either but how do I go without him it’s to hard xx

Oh princess Alice I’m so sorry for your loss, that is exactly like my husbands he lost weight we got the scan in a matter of days but had to wait three weeks for the results we didn’t want, the cancer had spread to his liver too, such a horrid cancer no symptoms till too late
I’ve lost a few family members over the years but this pain I’m feeling now is so much harder to bear I’m so so lonely and lost without him I keep it together when family is around pretend I’m ok but deep inside I’m hurting so much I’m always looking for him part of me is missing and I want to be with him now