Lost parent in lockdown

Last month I lost my mum and I don’t know how I’m going to cope, the days seem to get worse not better. I’m 20 years old and I feel like my time with her has been robbed so quickly, she’s missed so many milestones in my life…I almost feel jealous of older siblings and very angry.
She was in hospital several weeks leading up to her death, because of corona we weren’t allowed in for visits. The last time I seen her she was fairly bright, and had cooked me some dinner before being shortly called into hospital a few hours later for what we was told would be only an overnight stay…she never got to come home again. The hospital were really bad on the communication side, without going into too much detail one particular doctor lied to us we were really mislead along the way and we only found out she was going to die a couple of hours before she did. The only comfort I can take is that we got to be there with her as it happened at the end, but I don’t know how to grieve when we still have so many questions and uncertainty about her death. Everyday feels like a struggle that only gets worse.

Hi Lauren,

I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve lost your mum at such a young age, and that you weren’t able to visit her in hospital. So many people have faced similar situations during lockdown, and it can make loss even more difficult to come to terms with for some people. It’s sad to hear that you had poor communication from the hospital and have been left with unanswered questions.

I hope that it helps even a tiny bit to be able to share things here - there are many other people here who have lost a parent and will understand some of what you are going through. While many of our users are older than you, there are some, such as @Dorose and @Watt92 who have also lost parents in their 20s. You might be interested to take a look at their posts while you wait for more replies.

Hi Lauren
I lost my mum suddenly last June. I was 48, so older than you but mum was 74 and was only going into hospital for a routine operation and 1 overnight stay.
Unfortunately, she died of a sudden brain haemorrhage while there. The post mortem provided me some answers which have helped slightly.
Did your mum have a postmortem? If so can you find out the results?
There is nothing worse than not knowing what happened. When I was 27 and my dad was 53 he died suddenly in bed. Again, the postmortem explained that my dad had a massive unsurvivable heart attack.
Life without parents, on particular our mum, is very hard and I’m so sorry that you are experiencing this so young.
Can you talk to your siblings about this? Perhaps they are protecting you by not telling you details?
Cheryl x