Im 40 lost my partner 3 days ago she collapsed pancreatitis then sepsis shut her organs down and didn’t recover I am absolutely heartbroken
So very sorry for your loss Lester, you have shown great bravery by posting on here so soon after losing your partner.
Truly hope you find the comfort and support you need from everyone on here, the video link counselling sessions are a great help if you find you need them.
We’re all here to help you, we’re all travelling the same journey perhaps at different stages and the devastation we all feel over the loss of our husbands/wives/partners. I lost my husband 38 hours after I’d been told by the doctors they’d discovered a malignancy, also had never seen the doctor in over 45 years, he passed away 6 weeks after we celebrated our golden wedding anniversary, I shall always be grateful that he never knew he had cancer (neither of us did), I also got to spend his last 45 minutes alone with him, he was peaceful, very brave and everything during that precious time was beautiful. Please keep.close all the beautiful moments you shared.
I’m not going to say it will be an easy journey ahead, it will be the bumpiest ever, rollercoaster rides, some moments will get calm for a short time, there’s no right or wrong way, there’s no time limits, just take each day one at a time, or even one hour at a time.
I am reading a book On Grief and Grieving by Elizabeth Kubhler-Ross she explains so much about the grieving process and how we are all different in going through the various stages. Theres no set path,
I truly hope you find the comfort and support you feel you need
Hello Lester.Be sure I can feel your grief, everyone here will know exactly how you feel, because we have all been or are going through the same terrible pain. Take each day as it comes and if you need to grieve then do so. Don’t try to be brave at this stage, it’s not weakness to show your pain. I will not say that time will heal as I haven’t got to that stage yet so I have no idea if this is the case or how long it will take, we are all different. But keep posting or joining in with the messages as they will help you. Most of us have found comfort from keeping in touch with each other. Having a bad day then come on here and have a chat. Say what you wish no one will judge, but all, I can assure you will understand. Thinking of you.
I lost my partner 5 weeks ago and it feels like yesterday, I miss her so much, I want to be with her from the first day she died, my feelings are more worse now than they was then, I can’t believe she’s no longer here
Hi Shazza this is my first reply to anyone I know how you are feeling I lost my wife of 43 years last November heart failure due to kidney failure I am on my own no family to speak of I miss her so much it hurts I have many memories of her photos etc and would give everything I own just for sometime with her I know this is no consolation to you but we are there with you every step of the way. I still talk as if she is still here and even ask my little dog if she can scents if Jane’s there crazy I know but these small things give me a little hope nothing can take the place of my dear Jane I know that but after reading a lot on this forum I know there are people like me hoping that things will feel better hang on in there easier said than done but we all hope our wives/partners/husband’s would want us to carry on even if the pain is still there
It’s the empty house, her not being in my life anymore, the pain is so unbearable I don’t want to be here without her, I know she would want me to carry on but I don’t believe she is gone
Hi Interested in you asking your dog if she can pick up the scent of your wife. Since my husband died in November one of my dogs refuses to come into the living room at night. She lies on Brian chair in the dining room. Our evening ritual was that Brian did the washing up and I went into the living room. The dog waited for Brian and then came in with him and would lie with me on the settee. Now she refuses pointblank to come into the living room and she’s an obedient dog. Apart from putting a lead on her and dragging her into the living room, which I don’t want to do, she won’t move. Brian died in the dining room. Is she waiting for him to take her into the living room as was usual or as it’s been suggested she can sense that he’s there. The dogs sleep with me at night but if I leave the bedroom door open she will go down to the dining room again and get on his chair. I had hoped by now that she would have settled down.
Hi Pattidot our little dog used to sit at the door or gate waiting for Jane to come home from her dialysis she seemed to know when she was in the ambulance on the way back it was no specific time 12’oclock half past one’oclock she would not wait until she could sense Jane was on the road back.Since Jane passed away she goes to the door around those times as if she is still waiting looks at me as if Jane is coming home.She goes upstairs odd times and jumps on Janes side of the bed they used to sit and watch Harry Potter together the same as in our sitting room she always as to try and get in there thinking her and Jane are going to watch a DVD together.
I hang on to the hope that she may sense Jane is with us especially when I feel alone she is only 3 years old hopefully she may sense more as she gets older regards to you MM69
That’s so interesting, how would your dog know the times? She must have sensed your wife’s return. My dog seems to be pulling away from me though and I don’t know why. I make a fuss of her all the time. She’s missing my husband I know that, yet I always walked her and looked after her. I am convinced she’s grieving and feeling insecure. Pat
Hi as a nation of dog lovers people may think I am a little strange talking to my dog for consolation I don’t care she his my only family now no children ,we have always talked to her Jane was mum to her and we always called her mum when Jane was alive I still talk to her and say what her mum would have said or done her ears prick up when I say these things and looks around to see if Janes there this seems to work for me try saying words your husband would have said it may help I’m no dog expert but she is lassa also x Norfolk terrier and would guard us with her life anybody coming in the house or near the car had better watch out she is only about 10 inches tall but as the heart of a Rottweiler as I say try talking to her as if your husband is there it may help you both as it as me
It’s not strange talking to your dog. I love talking to mine and all the dogs I had before. I always had an understanding with dogs. Yes, we called each other mummy and daddy and when I take them to the cemetery I tell them were going to see Daddy. When we put his ashes in his grandparents grave I let her sniff the urn in the hope she would realise it was her ‘daddy’ and be able to get peace. But if anything she’s getting worse. The dogs sleep with me, although they have their own beds by the side of my bed. So it’s their choice. Now she won’t even sleep with me and lies by the bedroom door just wanting to get downstairs to the dining room. Last night I lay with her on her bed and cuddled her but still she wouldn’t get into bed with me. I talk to the dogs all the time and will try to remember some of the things Brian said. She came out of a Dog Pound and we knew nothing about her. I think she must have been owned by a man though as she loves men and if a man makes a fuss of her, she becomes very possessive in seconds. She’s extremely loving but very insecure and usually likes her cuddles with mum (and of course with daddy). Now she lies alone and quiet. I have trained her, feed her, walk her and they spend hours out with me everyday. I rarely go anywhere without them. Going to give her a cuddle now. Thanks Pat xxx
Hi Pat again I am no dog expert but it might help to let her do her own thing for a while my dog won’t leave me now all day but come night around 9-30 its time for bed doesn’t even look at me and if she does its as if she’s saying go to bed same in a morning I do not get any recognition until she is ready yet her mum was the opposite she would sit by Janes feet at bedtime and would go to the door when she heard her moving about upstairs waiting for her to come downstairs in a morning.
Perhaps she wants her own space for a while are dogs like humans and need to get things straight in their minds ? hopefully she will adjust to her master not being there and come back to her mum soon please let us know how you get on
. Regards again MM69
Thanks, I think your probably right. We have no idea about her past and she might be feeling deserted again by a master. In the Dog Pound she was super sensitive and showing aggression but was just scared and has proved to be the most loving dog. I have to laugh though as I do everything with her but Brian seemed to get the credit. I used to say I was just the maid around here. Training, walking, feeding, grooming etc. Thanks Pat xxx
It usually works that way they are our pride and joy if I hadn’t had our Jenny I would have gone mad or moreover wouldn’t still be here she is 3 years old and doesn’t get on with people doesn’t mind people at the park etc but will not let them approach her barks at anybody as I say who comes near the house or car this is the main reason I would not like to see her go to anybody else while I’m alive would probably be regarded as a problem dog it’s just she spent her puppy time with just Jane and myself
. All the best with your dog MM69
I’m so so sorry for your loss my soulmate of seventeen years fell asleep in my arms on the 24th of October gone so it is six months today I am utterly heartbreakon destroyed such a empty heavy heart panic anxiety doesn’t seem real or right was getting well doing well with physiotherapy and sepsis started at first they kept saying it was a chest infection then maybe some else then I found out it was sepsis I have not witmessed anything as terrifying as my partner unable to breathe high temperature being rushed to critical care im heartbreakon so sorry for your loss
So so sorry for your loss utterly heartbreakon it’s soul destroying I feel the same