lost without mom

it’s been almost 9 months without mom.
on the 21st of october it’ll be 9 months and it’ll also be breast cancer awareness day, which is what i lost her to.

i feel so lost.

i was doing okay a few months ago, but the grief has become overpowering again.
i haven’t been able to go to work, i feel so depressed.
i’m 27 years old. my mom was my best friend. she was my soulmate. the thought that i have to go the rest of my life without her is unbearable. and this is just the beginning. nine months down, forever to go…

i needed a place to vent.
my mental health’s just been down the drain.
i’ve had family and friends helping so much, i’m so grateful, but even so, no one can take the pain away.
i miss her so much. my heart literally aches and i can’t sleep at night.

please do feel free to share your own experiences or to give me any advice. i don’t really have much people to talk to about grief. i feel like i’m going crazy.


I suggest counseling. very much so. and support groups. what I did after my mother died.

the pain is unbearable for years. mine is five now and it eased a lot.
but I miss my parents terribly. terribly.

when I sought counseling two years ago, I was so bad they wanted to see me 2x a week. you might benefit from that intensive care. this is what I would do, if I were you.


I know how you feel. I am 32 and lost my mom suddenly in Jan this year. I was struggling for months but then I thought I was ok. But today I had a rough day and I have been crying for the last few minutes and this community is all I could think of. I immediately logged in and started reading the posts and saw yours. I can relate to you. I am so lost without her. She was my main person. I just want to go to her. I totally understand what you are going through. It’s very difficult. I just tell myself that we all are going to die one day and reunite with our family members who have passed. I never believed in afterlife but after watching and reading about it I do. You don’t have to believe in it. But please know that your mom is around you. She can see you and hear you.
I don’t know what can help because nothing can fix this. Just know that a lot of people are going through loss right now and everyone else will at some point in their lives.
Take care and your mom is sitting right next to you.


thank you so much :pleading_face:
this is so comforting

i know it’s hard to find the words to say isn’t it? :disappointed:

we even lost our moms around the same time :cry:
i lost my mom in january too

i needed a place to come to
i felt like i was bottling everything up
and i don’t really know who else to talk or vent to

i just miss her so so much
i can’t believe i’ve gotta go the rest of my life without her :cry::disappointed:

you’re so right
it’s very difficult :pleading_face:

i like to think there is an afterlife


I’m so sorry for your loss, I lost my mum only 8 weeks ago, it’s been the longest time I feel like time is dragging since she passed.

Her death was quite unexpected and she has had to have a full Post Mortem.

I have two sisters so we are going through this together but I do feel we’re at different stages of our grief.

I’m struggling to concentrate and focus on anything in particular, I have a young child so I’m trying to keep going but it’s so difficult.

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i’m so sorry for your loss too
8 weeks ago is so soon :cry:

grief is definitely different for everyone

i have an older brother and he seems to be carrying life on as normal, going on holidays, having fun, whereas i’m the complete opposite, i feel like i can’t do anything and don’t want to do anything anymore and i’ve been really depressed, but my brother and i had different relationships with our mom, i was closer to her and lived with her right up until her death, so it’s definitely hit me harder

i’m glad you all have each other :white_heart:
please look after each other and communicate
it’s totally normal for you all to feel differently and to be at different stages in your grief, it will change a lot too

aww i know, it’s really hard, especially as it’s still so soon for you as well, and with raising a young child
my mother had to do the same when she lost her dad, i have no idea how she managed to do that but somehow she did and you will too :white_heart:
just please remember as difficult as it is, allow yourself to grieve and to feel your feelings

I’m so sorry for the loss of your Mum, I lost my mother in march this year and still can’t come to terms with what’s happened, I was my mums caregiver for a number of years and tried my best to make her days happier
She was the only family I had and now feel lonely and isolated coming home to an empty place
She had to go into hospital last November for chemotherapy treatment and was treated very badly when she was there, which made things worse for her and I was stopped from visiting her because I made a complaint about her treatment
But thankfully she was discharged a few weeks later and came home to finish the rest of her treatment
Unfortunately after two weeks she had to be readmitted back as she was very unwell
Then after a few weeks I got the call I was dreading saying my poor mum had passed
I couldn’t accept it and I’m still in denial about everything that’s happened
One day I make plans to get my life back on track, then the next day I feel guilty and selfish that I’m doing something wrong
My life is in pieces and my mind is in conflict with itself
I have no interest in anything anymore and everything I do requires more effort and commitment
I often stay out until early morning as so I don’t have to be at my flat as it’s too emotional and hurtful
I sometimes go to the hospital and want to visit her but realistically it’s not going to happen
Then I sit outside the building at the back of the hospital where my mum was taken to after she passed away
The Mortury
It’s getting more difficult to cope with my loss now the months are going by because it’s starting to sink in that the worse thing ever has happened to me!
I feel helpless and unable to cope on a daily basis even though I’ve had online counselling a few times
I just sometimes want to pack a few things and leave everything behind and just get away from the sadness
Unfortunately I don’t have any friends or family to support me and that makes everything more difficult

So very sorry for your loss its exactly 8 weeks tomorrow morning 10.25am since losing our Mum, Saturdays I now find especially difficult because we always went to Mums on a Saturday she was the glue to our family and we are all so lost without her.

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@sadkitten I lost my mom on 2 October, from lung cancer/fibrosis/pneumonia. Since she had been diagnosed with cancer 10 months before, her health declined so quickly because she was really depressed. I love my mom so much. She was always such a strong person and to watch her become frail and die was the worst time of my life.

I feel like I can relate to what your saying. I’m 36, and I feel like I’m too young to have lost her. She was my rock. I can’t believe I have to face the rest of life without her, it’s unbearable to be honest. I just sit and cry and imagine living another 50 years without her and it’s just not something I can comprehend.

I’m finding since her funeral has become even harder to deal with. Everyone else can just carry on with their lives and I don’t know how I am supposed to and when the pain will ever ease.

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