Hi guys I am new to this and don’t really know where to start just looking for some help get through Xmas as I lost my partner June 21st I am 27 and have two wonderful daughters but finding this very hard to put my Xmas things up and keep things together any help would be really appreciate thanks x

Hi Carly
I’m sorry to hear that you lost your partner. I lost my mum suddenly on 14th June, and although losing a partner is different to losing a mum, I lived with my mum and she brought my 12 year old daughter up with me.
We are both struggling terribly with her loss and xmas is going to be very hard.
I’ve put xmas decorations up for the sake of my daughter but my heart isnt in it at all.
Do you have much support?

Cheryl x

I couldn’t imagine what it must feel like lossing your mum. I am going to put my tree up this weekend just feels horrible without him being here with us to do it I feel like it’s worse than the day he dead seeing everyone so happy about Xmas and trying to act happy just fed up putting a happy face on… getting the whole can’t breath at night time again yeah I have my family but find it hard to talk about it so that’s why I have set this up just for someone to just help me x

Hi. Carly. Grief is grief be it mum dad or anyone close and that includes close friends. There are no set rules or set times. It’s a very individual experience and we all react differently. Tying to put on a happy face is so very difficult when we are crying inside. It often happens that those in bereavement find it easier to talk to a stranger than to family. Family are often grieving too. That is why counselling can be so helpful. The counsellor can be objective.
This site is a good place to be. Everyone knows and understands. I suggest you read the posts from those who have lost a partner. You will see how it affects people in so many different ways, but one thing is common to all, the pain. Emotional and sometimes physical. Try not to hold emotions back. I know how difficult that is but suppressing deep emotion is not good.
Have you seen your GP? If not it’s always a good idea. Short term medication can often help. Even if you don’t want it they can often give useful advice.
It’s hard and very tiring is grief. You are so young to have such a loss, but you do have your daughters who need you at this time.
Take care and it’s good to have you here. Blessings.

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