Lost

I have been married to Adrian for 36 year’s and eight weeks today lost him to mesothelioma. The enormity of what’s happened just hits me wave after wave of realising I will never be able to speak to him again. I have very supportive daughter and son in law with a 2 year old granddaughter who are very happy for me to stay with them. But watching them just makes me long to have my husband back to hold him again and all feel secure. The pain is so great I don’t know how you should deal with it. I have gone back working from home which is OK, but find I just sit and cannot move at times. I have our two dogs that I walk everyday at least that gets me out.

1 Like

Hi Helen, I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your husband, I lost my husband after 40 years of marriage, it’s so difficult and heartbreaking, my dogs were what got me through the first difficult months, like you, they make you get up in the morning and go for a walk, I think I cried while I walked them round the woods, every day for about 6 months, gradually and I mean very gradually, the crying stopped and I started enjoying the walks and nature again, just take a day at a time, and only do what you want to do, be kind to yourself, this is not something that you just get over, in fact I think you learn to accept what’s happened, but it doesn’t stop it hurting just as much as when they first died, sending love Jude xx

I lost my wife, Dianne this year in April. We we’re married for 38 years and together for 40 years. I’ve come over to Majorca where we planned to retire to our holiday home. My daughter and young grandsons have been with me. I’ve spread some of her ashes at the house and the local beach. The next couple of days I’m going to spread the ashes on the beach where we had our honeymoon.

I can’t stand watching people enjoying themselves and seeing couples walk hand in hand. That should be us for the next 20 years. I’ve never felt so devastated and overwhelmed. I felt so distressed last night I was physically sick for about 2 hours during the night. I thought my grief was bad after she passed but it’s ten times worse now.

I put our little dream holiday home up for sale yesterday. I never want to come here again.
Thanks for listening to me ramble on and good take care everyone.
Gary x

Hi Gary, would be nice to have a magic wand and make it go away. I hate going out and seeing anyone together makes me feel so desperate. The loss seems so enormous I just Don’t know how we are supposed to get over it. I have Adrian’s ashes on the bedside table if you had of said this of someone before he died I would of said they were a bit sad. I hope you find some comfort from some where we are really on a emotional roller coster, as I lost Adrian 8 weeks ago yesterday and we worked and lived together for the last 30 years

Hi Helen. I’m sorry for your loss. Like me it’s not been long. Me and Dianne worked together for 30 years and lived together for 40 years. I miss her every minute of every day. I never expected to end up here. It feels like there’s no future and nothing to look forward to.hopefully time will help
Reading the stories on this site helps.

Take care
Gary x