Lost

I lost my husband on 21st February 2022 and I am finding it very difficult to cope with the fact that i will never see him again. I burst into tears at the very slightest thing. I am trying to keep busy but it isn’t really helping. My family are being very supportive, but it is so painful when i am on my own. Does anyone have any advice please.

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Oh, I am so very sorry for the loss of your husband. It really is a terrible pain to bear.
At first when my husband died I just wanted to look at photo’s and videos of him and us. I found them hard to look at in the first few days, but I loved looking at them and remembering our 40 years together.
Seeing him as a 25 year old again was lovely and a great comfort to me.
I’m sure you’ll have lots of photo’s to go through and I hope you can bear to look at them…it is so very hard.
Then I became rather obsessed at looking at our phones and the messages we had sent each other during his seven months of illness before his death. Looking back now, that obsession with those messages did help me, and now (after 13 months) I haven’t looked at them for a while which is a step forward for me.
As you say it is extremely difficult to cope with the fact that we’ll never see them again. It’s hard to come to terms with, BUT it does become more bearable with the passing of time.
Time doesn’t heal, but it can take the edge of the traumatic, raw grief which we do feel at first.
I still wake in the mornings with that empty feeling in my stomach sometimes, but I make myself get up and get a cuppa, as Ian would have done for me every single day, and as he would want to know I’m still doing.
I understand your devastating pain and wish you the very best on this new, unwanted journey.
All of us on this site understand and want to support you too.
Take care of yourself
Janey x

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Thank you so much for your message. I have done exactly the same. I went through all the photos of just us from when we met and put them all in a photo album and now I can’t bear to look at them. To see us both through the years and how so very much we were in love and all that youth and happiness has gone. I will never have someone love me like he did. I cannot believe how this has hit me so hard. But it is a great comfort to know other people go through something similar. Luckily I have a dog so it makes me go out for our walks twice a day. Thank you again so much for your reply x

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