I feel so lost. I am stuck on the reality that I am never going to see, touch, feel my beautiful husband again. I am left with an existence of waiting for distractions, it’s not a life. How and why do I get through this?

Welcome to our Sue Ryder, family @Lorraineb. I am so glad you posted today. I am so sorry you have lost your husband. I know the feelings you are experiencing. T died in January this and it has been really hard. Living alone, going from hour to hour, from long sleepless nights to days of eat, work, cry, repeat. The only way through this, for me at least, is to go through it. There are no shortcuts - I wish there were. What I am doing to get through is to create distractions, build up again from the ground up. Reinvent myself. Accept invitations to do things and going even if I don’t want to. Each time I do, I enjoy myself. And now, I can choose who I become now. It is oddly liberating. You have got this, Lorraine, you really have, not least because you have got this far. You are getting through it. Be kind to yourself, reflect on how far you have come to this moment. And today, create a distraction for yourself. Something you might like. Cook something different. Nip to the shops and wander round and treat yourself to something. Ring up an old friend. Be kind to yourself and slowly, slowly, things will get easier. This is what I am hoping - and I am seeing it work. Hold tight, Lorraine, your new family here at Sue Ryder are with you.

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Hi, yes Vancouver is right you need to keep yourself busy but it’s hard. Going to new places where there’s people you don’t know is not easy but honestly if you can it helps. It’s not the total answer because at the end you are still without the one person you want to be at your side. It’s a new life and a new way of life and it’s hard. You smile when you want to cry and you tell people you are fine when you certainly don’t feel fine. Take little steps and be proud of each step you take. Look after yourself both physically and mentally because you are very vulnerable. We are always here for you.
S xxx

Dear Lorraine. I am so sorry for what has happened to you. I lost my husband of 50 years only two days ago and I didn’t realise how bad it is. I have just sat at home talking to him since it happened and I am so sad. How do we learn to live with this. He was my whole life and I feel sad for you. Please look after yourself. I am here for you. Please take care Carol