Lost

I feel completely on my own the two people who brought me up are gone

My Nan passed away age 72 in 2019
I don’t feel like I really had time to grieve because when my Nan passed away my mum became unwell with her mental health my mum has suffered with her mental health since I was a kid she had been in and out of hospital when I was little

And I knew my Nan her mum passing away would be massive for her they were so close we all were
Only difference was I had a little boy to look after he kept me grounded my mum went completely down hill
I did beg for help from mental health services she got some for a short period of time and was discharged me and my mum lost touch she was drinking heavily hanging around with the local drug addicts and alcoholics I had to look after my son I couldn’t be there all the time we had recently started repairing our relationship and I thought things were getting better but she was just hiding things and sadly April this year I found out she passed away my mum was 48 years old……
it was a sudden death the last thing I expected
I’m still waiting for the official results even now but think it was a accidental overdose

I’m heart broken
Iv lost the two most important people in my life
Her funeral was on the 20th June it was so emotional
When she passed I had to empty her property and I found my nans ashes I’m scattering them together next week.

I feel like I’m grieving both of them Iv just lost my mum and it’s like Iv lost my Nan all over again
Iv been searching for bereavement support or counselling in my area but they isn’t any every email I get back is we aren’t accepting adult referrals

I just feel at a complete loss my mum couldn’t live without her Nan without falling apart how am I supposed to carry on without both of them

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Hello @Kelly5, welcome to the Sue Ryder community.

I’m so sorry to hear about your Mum and the earlier loss of your Nan. It sounds like things are tough at the moment, so I’m glad you’ve been able to share how you are feeling here.

Many people find the community a great source of support and I really hope you do too. Everyone here has experienced the loss of a loved one and will understand some of what you are going through. It can really help to relate our situation to others in this way, as we can speak freely to others who are going through something very similar.

You mentioned counselling and it is another great way of talking through your feelings. While face-to-face counselling can be difficult to arrange, online counselling can be every bit as good. Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. It’s free and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: www.sueryder.org/counselling

Another good place to get support is Cruse Bereavement. They also offer counselling, as well as a helpline, email support, and support groups through their local services: 0808 808 1677, helpline@cruse.org.uk,

I hope some of this is helpful and you are able to find help and support here in the community too. Keep posting and stay strong.

Take care,

Mick

Online Community team

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