Lost

Hi, my friend died suddenly while I was dropping her off at work. She only got the car door open gave a sudden jolt and from their everything has changed. I had to do cpr (two other ladies appeared to help) but she was pronounced dead by the ambulance crew.
It’s a month since, her funeral was only last week, but I now feel the full force of it all. I’m usually the fixer of things and I couldn’t do anything for her. I realise that but my brain keeps replaying the whole thing with ‘what if’s’ even though I know I couldn’t have done more. I’ve always been the strong one and I cannot even cry though I want to. I’m just not sure where to start. I have had to ask for time off work and feel guilty about that! I cannot drive as I am getting distracted by thoughts. Can anyone help with coping mechanisms? I have friends about but I am no good at showing my feelings

Hello @Annross, I’m glad you’ve found our community but so sorry for the loss of your friend that brings you here. I think many of our members will understand just what you mean about your mind replaying what happened. This is common in the early days of grief. If these thoughts are becoming overwhelming and are stopping you from living your life, though, it may be a good idea to visit your GP to talk through what support they can offer you. Witnessing a death, as you have, can be traumatising and you don’t have to cope with these feelings alone.

You’ve asked for coping mechanisms, so I wanted to share our Grief Guide self-help platform with you. It has information and resources to help you through your grief. There are also practical tools like journalling which you may wish to explore.

The Sudden website also has help and support specifically for people who have experienced a sudden death.

I hope that these suggestions are helpful - please do keep reaching out, you are not alone.

Seaneen