I hope that what I have been writing will be of help to others in my situation
This evening I am so aware of my loss of my lovely wife Edwina. The flames of grief burn all around me in a seemingly unquenchable fire. I am learning, it seems, ever so slowly that I have to learn to live in that grief for the rest of my days. The love we shared was so complete that it totally compounds the loss. The conundrum is that without that love there is no grief. The grief that I feel will never leave me as the love I felt for Edwina will also never leave me. They exist in each other. We cannot deny grief because if we do so we deny love and love is everything. Love is the glue that binds us together. Love is, if we let it, is the fabric of our world. Our love comes from Jesus and in Jesus we have to totally trust. Edwina did and so do I. Even now as I feel the loss so do I also feel that within the flames of the circle of grief I can find in the centre of that circle a place of calm, of quietness of understanding and of the utter forgiveness of Christ Jesus. A place where all things of Heaven and Earth come together, a place of tranquillity, a place where my soul can be revived, restored, renewed and refreshed and prepare me to face a new day with hope and love in my heart.
Rmi123, that is so beautiful and yes I agree 100% with all you have written. Grief is the price we pay for the love we had/have and it will never die. I feel that our loved ones, our soulmate had to go because there human bodies could not go any further down this life’s road and we have to wait our turn to follow them and while waiting we have to bear this grief. Bless you for sharing. God bless you. S xxx
Thank you for replying. Loss of our beloveds is very hard to bear but we must go on into a very uncertain future. I do not know about you but I find I can go along ok then suddenly the reality of our loss can strike home with incredible power and cruelty. It rocks us back and in a moment we stand on very uncertain ground. I took the service in my church today and it was great then I come home alone with the rest of the day to face. I am very active involved in golf and bowls but the time always comes when we have to face the loss we have suffered and it hurts. Hope you are ok and may the Grace of our Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you always
Rich, thank you for your blessing, it is much appreciated. Yes, it funny how you can go along nicely and then without any warning it bites and you are back to square one. Sunday’s have always been difficult for me and I have to just watch myself. I am pleased that I a belief even if I class myself as nomad as far as following a particular religion/church . My thoughts and blessings go to you and may your heart ache easy.
The grief comes in waves but I do find my faith helps. Sometimes I think I’m coping well but then the reality catches me out that I will not see David again in this earthy life. The pandemic has been cruelest for those of us who tried to say good bye but couldn’t.
Best wishes Tricia
Without my faith I would be completely lost. We shared faith together and our church life was very important. I am a worship leader and considering taking my vocation toward ordination