Its been a very draining day we picked up the last of our daughter dawns ashes today as her husband decided he could not scatter them ,so we put them in a lovely tub in the garden at least she is out in the open and we can sit along side of her she can hear the birds singing. I am finding so hard as my other daughter says we should be getting on with life, which I think we do ,and not dwell on it ,but I am not ready to put it to one side ,its only been 22weeks and iwant to think about all the time I miss her so much she was our daughter after all. has anyone else been told this ?

Hi maddie
My friend from where I use to work suggested a few days away in Portugal back in March I went what a fool. We sat in a beach bar looking out to sea and I became overwhelmed and upset. She told me I should really stop all this crying and try to get on. All my very close friends are so supportive.
Love helen

Hi helen,we went to Portugal in march as well at the suggestion of our other daughter,she said we just needed to have a change of scienary,and it did help while we were there,as it was only 4days ,but cried most of the way back an haven’t stopped going down to cornwall for a few days next week,but exspect that will be the same. Love maddie

Hi Maddie,
Let the tears flow, they are cathartic, if it wasn’t for my other son and my husband I would have given up ages OK, but if I did that Sam wouldn’t be happy so I keep trying and that is all any of us can do. Try to enjoy the scenery, your Dawn wouldn’t want you to do anything else. My first task to myself was to try and smile at people (they didn’t know the heartache I was in) and I succeeded, then it was to go to the local shop, again a huge step for me and so it is little little steps. I still get very upset at times, but then I try and think of all the funny incidents with Sam, the loving things he did and it does pull me back because I then think of “what if the tumour had grown the other way and made him deaf blind and mute and unable to move…what would he have wanted to go quickly as he did or linger” and I know what he would say! So then I cope for another day…xxxHelen

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