Hello everyone.
I hope that whatever and whenever your loss, today turns out to be a bearable day for you.
I just wondered if anyone out there may have had the same experience as I’m now having and how you all might have managed and whether you would be kind enough to share your experience as I know there is no right or wrong and that really, nobody can advise me which is part of my struggle.
I lost my lovely mum at Christmas after caring for her for nearly two years. We lived together and were very close as both of us are only children and we lost my Dad 15 years ago. Mum was 89 when she died.
Like all of you, I’ve been devastated at her loss even though I knew it was coming, she had grown so very frail over the last two years.
As mum grew more frail, ( which was all during lockdown and thankfully, I was working from home so I was very grateful for that time to be able to be with her ), I had alot of time to think what I would eventually do when the time came that I was alone.
To cut a long story short, I decided ( and discussed with mum too ), that I would try to make a fresh start and move home. I also knew that I wanted to reduce my working hours to help me heal a bit ( I had a very busy job ), and so I could devote a bit of time to my own life and to my two little dogs whose company I’m so very grateful for.
After mum died, I put our house on the market ( we haven’t lived here long so not any good memories sadly ) and I looked at various places on line around the country where the properties I might buy were. My home sold very quickly and I’d found a property and the conveyancing process started. Another lady whom I didn’t know but met who also plans to move there has contacted me regularly and has had her papers through before mine. She too is a single lady now on her own after loosing her husband some years ago. A couple of weeks ago, I started to worry whether I was doing the right thing. I do most definitely want to move and as my own home need some work, I decided that the costs of moving where in fact cheaper than staying but of course I know my way round here. Importantly, I’ve a good vet and a good doggy groomer and I’d thought I could go part time in my work.
My request for reducing my hours were refused and so I gave in my notice planning to find part time work after I moved. Then, the lady I was speaking with started to share content of her conveyancing papers and a number of worries she had about them. If I’m honest, I think I was beginning to have odd feelings about it all and she just cemented them and ‘ gave me ‘ he worries really. Once she had done that she decided she was doing the right thing and is now progressing.
For me, I’ve become like a rabbit in the headlights now. I know, if I could move locally ( affordability of property wise ), I would stay. I would just change property if you see what I mean. But that’s not an option price wise unless I buy something that needs money spent and that I don’t have especially now I have to find another job.
I have to make a decision now as to what to do. I keep praying that I’ll suddenly have a lightbulb moment and the way forward will be crystal clear but deep down, I don’t think that moment will come.
I just wonder how you all coped with making important decisions when you’ve lost a much loved confidante but when you are also trying hard to make changes for your future life without that person when really, all you want ( apart from peace in the world right now ), is that person back and your life to be as it was years ago.
So sorry for such a long and seemingly silly story and thank you for taking time to read it.
Take care everyone.
Paula.
