How do you mark the anniversary of the death of your husband or wife?
This year it will be three years since my husband died on 18th November. I paid for his name to be mentioned in the church notice sheet which pays for lighting of church spire.
I felt he would be forgotten about by everyone otherwise.
Couldn’t think of anything else that hadn’t done before. Might build up his grave that has sunk on one side that looks crazy and sad.
Grass won’t grow easily but I have some seeds. Dig out the ugly thistles.
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I have a few months to go yet for the first anniversary, next March, however I am going to an Annual Memorial Service at the local church here on the 2nd November
They hold this to remember all those who have sadly passed in the year.
Hopefully I will have moved back to Wales where her ashes are interred in the church where we got married by next March.
If not I will definitely go down to put flowers on her plot
You take care 
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I marked the 2nd anniversary of Philip’s death by taking part in a sponsored walk to raise funds for the hospice where he died. My dog and I walked 106km in the month of September (he died 19 Sept 2023) and we raised over £460. I felt he would have approved of me and Charlie (our dog) getting out and filling our lungs with fresh air.
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I guess it’s different for all of us. I’ve just had the second anniversary of my husband’s death and like last year, I didn’t want to do anything for this day as I’d rather just get through the day. I’d rather do something on his birthday which for me feels more positive.
But I think it’s a lovely idea to mark the occasion if it works for you. I have to say, this year’s anniversary has hit me especially hard and I feel like I’ve been knocked for six, so maybe I would have been better doing something rather than trying to ignore the date. It’s a work in progress for us all. Sending hugs and good wishes x
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Enorac, it’s my wife’s 1st anniversary on 17th November and a mass is being said for her at her church. My eldest daughter will come with me as well as some friends, then we will go to the grave and I will then spend the day with my daughter and have a country pub lunch too. I’ll probably see my other 3 children in the evening too. I’m not looking forward to it but I’m also looking forward to it as it’s the last of the 1sts done, except the anniversary of the funeral itself.
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Well done
That is a lovely thing to do.
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I think it will be good. My eldest daughter (actually a step daughter but never called that) is still really struggling. She looks after me just so much it brings tears to my eyes so that is the least I can do.
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Well you have not lost your caring or kind nature.
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True Cat. I have two girls and two boys plus their spouses and eleven grandchildren. All within 4 miles of me, one family is literally next door and we all get together frequently. So good for us all!
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I am very glad to hear that. You can all support each other.
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Yes we do that so much. I have such a wonderful family!
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Today one of my sons and grandchild went on a boat ride on lake Windermere. My late husband loved boat rides and it is a long time since we went on one. It reminded me of when my husband had been the same age as my son and we all went camping when I could easily get about. We all went swimming and the weather was lovely. Stunning views with the Autumn leaves.
Three years ago my husband was in hospital before he died and thought he would have enjoyed it.
So he would be pleased if he was lookinf.g down
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Hi I lost my Partner 15 months ago,July 2024,I celebrated his Heavenly 65th Birthday in May with a karaoke party for him cos he loved karaoke,the 1st year anniversary was me and him in the pub remembering him,with friends,although I still can’t listen to our songs. I’ve looked at support groups but there isn’t any and I’m on my own,although I have my fur babies for company I feel alone. I miss him so much and every day is a struggle. I don’t know what to do anymore.
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Hi Rosie
My heart goes out to you. Just take each day as it comes. Sending you a big hug
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Thankyou so much x
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Have you considered finding other widows/widowers and starting your own group?
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Hi
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Hi dmend88_8,
I hope you’re ok, unfortunately organising my own group isn’t something I could do but thankyou for replying. I have social anxiety and I have a small circle of friends/family who I see regularly but i couldnt cope with a group setting with other people. I’m more comfortable with animals and have my dogs.
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I’m anxious about Sunday, it’s the All Souls’ Service and it will also be 11 months to the day mum passed away. I’ve been invited to light a candle at the service but and it is constantly in my mind. Also the anniversary will be at the beginning of Lent, another reminder.
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I was at all souls service and got upset because my husband’s came was nit mentioned. Does anyone know how you get their name to be mentioned? Do you have to do something
I know i am still slow on the uptake
I sat by my husband’s grave and did light a candle.
Then I proceeded to clean off dirt from his headstone and pot. Decided must get a bag soil to make his plot less lopsided and put grass seed on it or turf
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