Men dont cry

So the belief is that men don’t cry. Where does that come from. We are supposed to be strong. But losing your loved one is the last thing you expect. The love of my life just passed and I’m expected to accept that. Life has changed so much that I can’t comprehend. Loneliness is the new norm. Holidays are not even on the agenda. When will normality resume. Not in the distant future. I will still be crying.


Hi. Derekrb. This is one of my pet hates. The myth that men don’t cry! It’s a fallacy that needs to be done away with because it’s so untrue. We DO cry, we sometimes cry buckets, and it’s often a relief to do so. But alas, the old ‘macho’ image still applies. So many men will not show any sign of what they call ‘weakness’ when actually to express emotions without shame is a sign of strength.
It’s also why women outnumber men on this forum. Women very sensibly allow emotions and are not ashamed to express them.
Us guys need to do the same and not ‘bottle up’ emotions because we stupidly believe it’s unmanly. Best wishes. John.


Hello to both of you very strong but sensible men. I really couldn’t believe the timing of reading this post why? I have just received a phone call from a man who’s wife went last year and he was state after trying to clear out some of her things. He kept saying I should not cry and I am say why not because that’s what you want and need but men don’t cry, bull S… sorry but is what I stole him. Both men and women put that brave face on the whole thing. Keep saying that it’s ok to cry and please show your emotions. Bless you both. S :cry::cry:


I never cry not since I was a child, but after my husband died I have cried a lot. If you are crying then you need to cry, you need the emotional release that crying gives. Just accept it is a normal part of the grieving process. The men I know who have lost loved ones all cried it didn’t make them less manly just human like the rest if us.


Your not alone, I lost my wife of 57years Barbara 14months ago and I still cry like a baby several times a day.

I cried my eyes out when my wife passed 1 year on I still burst into tears over silly things we are after all only human and there is no shame in it

I lost my darling wife Sue aged 54 just over 6 months ago. She was my soulmate and wife of 27 years, and I know that I am going to be crying about her and missing her throughout every day and night for the rest of my life. As others have said we need to go with our emotions and we are all different, there is no ‘normal’ any more. I feel that the best thing we can do is continue living as our other loved ones would want us to do and cherish their memories in our hearts.

Totally agree Anthony. Lost my wife of 20 years in April to this virus. Only 63 and she was planning to retire in November. My life has been turned upside down. Trying to make sense of it all

Men do cry but now I cry over all the things I missed over the years whilst working away from home I wish I was home more throughout the years and have missed so much of my family now after 47 years together I find myself alone in this crazy world and at times wish I wasn’t here anymore so life for me now is a total nightmare and although it’s been 2 and half years I still go to bed at night and wishing I don’t wake up as this pain is slowly killing me and my future was wiped away in a second so just surviving day by day and it’s heartbreaking.

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Friends and family get me through the day. But nights are lonely and sad. I have been having a drink every night since she passed. Its the only way I get to sleep. One day I will have to get 6grip. But I ask myself Why. What else have I got to live for.

Yup that’s me after 18months and I can’t see it changing,good luck

Good luck to you too. Hope we get through this nightmare. Didn’t think I had that many tears to shed

I cry every day sometimes more than once , absolutely even the smallest thing sets me off , I can cry at plays on radio ,I can’t even see a war veteran on TV without crying , a certain song , the list is endless I’ve always been soft but even more so since my son passed away in January this year , his short miserable life can just knock me over anytime without warning :disappointed_relieved:

I don’t understand why you feel that way. Just post your feelings and people will respond with their feelings. It helps to know how others cope with their grief. Don’t give up

I think only accessing this site from I phone isn’t helping either :roll_eyes:

Hi Derek do you know the old saying is it takes a real man to cry as my husband was a real man and I see him cry many times Dear God how I miss himnever liked me to see Him cry but I would give up all I had to have him back it’s been nearly 17 months and I’m still crying
We were married for nearly 50 years and it’s left a gaping hole in my heart I will never stop loving him

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Thanks Patricia. I know how you feel, it’s only been 4 months for me and I would give anything for just a moment with her. Stay strong and safe :pray:

Hi its been 14 months for me also I still miss my wife terribly I would give anything for just a few seconds with her so you are not alone