Mind

Hi
It is coming up to 11 months since I lost my husband and I really don’t know if anything is normal
I went through the brain fog at the early stages and I thought I had come out of it early December, but now I find myself in a really bad way and I don’t know if it is the same. I can’t remember anything from one minute to another. I get in the car sometimes and don’t even know where I am going, I have gone from a very positive strong person who can now no longer make a very simple decision. Please is this normal I am just lost. I spoke to my doctor and was told my husbands death was a long time ago so I should be over it by now so that can’t be the reason surely 11 months isn’t that long ?

Dear IJ02

I have found that even the professionals can say such inappropriate things. When my husband died and I had a telephone appointment, despite my GP being fully aware of my husband’s death as there was police/coroner involvement she was so insensitive and wanted to know all the circumstances surrounding the accident which took his life. I am six months down this awful road. Next week is our 39th wedding anniversary and I am unable to function. Drove to local shops and got lost even though been down same route for 40 years. I am sure that as you are conscious that a land-mark date is approaching this is (quite naturally) having these affects on you. I am so sorry that you are on this same dreadful journey that none of us want.

Take care.
Sheila xxx

Hi, pleased you found the site again, honestly when I read your post I wanted to shout at your GP because 11 months is nothing when it comes to grieving and most doctors know and understand. What you wrote is the same for many including myself and even now I have off days when all I want to do is stay in bed and hide. Grieving is bad enough in what one use to call normal times but with the virus and restrictions, it is horrible. Pleased don’t be hard on yourself, just take each day one at a time, enjoy the good ones and get through the bad. They tell you not to do anything big for the first two years because life is unreal and yes it does get better. You said you are normal strong and positive and that will return, it’s your normal self, it just needs time. When we loss our soul mate we need time for readjustment and look how far you have come because I am sure you will be truly amazed at what you have achieved. One little note, be organised for that day next month, look at the good memories and celebrate those beautiful moments. Take it slowly and be proud of what you have done. Look after yourself, you are special. Sxx

Omg a doctor speaking to you like that. I’m 11 months on and like you seem to be going backwards I spoke to my Dr he put me in touch with bereavement counselling and is phoning me every week for a month to see how I am. 11 months is early days I think we’re just beginning to realise the reality of .
Take care xx

Hi! I read your post and breathed a sigh of relief because I am exactly the same as you. I have gone from being confident and capable to hesitant and cack-handed. I get odd times when the old me comes back briefly, but I would so love to get back to how I used to be.
I haven’t been to my doctor, but I have spoken to a couple of people who have said they were the same but that it does pass. I guess I’ll have to be content with that. It is hard though.
Hugs, AnnR