Miss my Dad so much

My Dad died suddenly about 6weeks ago and I’m finding it really hard to process the trauma of losing him. He died in hospital and I was there thank god, but only because his wife called me and I saw the call come up on my silent phone that night before I got in to bed.
I wish I’d known he was in hospital the day before though as then I would have gone to be with him sooner before he had to have an operation and deteriorated rapidly and was given morphine and asleep. I held his hand and watched him slip away and take his last breath. Surrounded by machines and none of them could save him nor could the doctors and I felt so helpless.
He hadn’t been well for some time but he always put it down to a chest infection and took some antibiotics. I don’t think he was very happy before he died and I have so many unanswered questions. What happened to him at the hospital and in the ambulance we are still waiting for results of the post mortem as they had to send off samples due testing as they couldn’t determine the reason for his death.
I feel so lost without him and heartbroken. Normal life feels impossible and I am finding the days so long and unbearable.

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Alexandra, the waiting for answers is hard and even when they have done the tests, the answers may not help. I believe we have some date stamp thing and when we have to go then
Sorry, I know it won’t help but when my husband went it wasn’t expected and this was the only way I could make sense of what happened and why I am still here.
The unanswered questions and the what if hurts and it’s to late but we still want answers.
Grieving is hard and horrible and it takes it toll on us. There’s many post on from people who’s lost their dad and want answers, read as many as you like because we all have lost someone special and we all know the pain. Keep your self safe and remember at this time you are very vulnerable both physically and mentally.

Firstly I’m sorry for your loss. I, too have just lost my Dad. He had terminal cancer and died in his sleep at home. I wanted to be there holding his hand when he took his last breath. Count yourself lucky on this. I feel like a never got to say goodbye and I just feel so lost. I want so much to tell him just how much I loved him. Sending love & hugs to you at this time xx

Sunflower, how sad and it is ok to feel that you missed being there at the end. I have seen it so often that a person goes when they are alone, it’s like they don’t want anyone there or they don’t want to upset their loved ones and wait until they are out of the room. It’s hard on those who are left when you can’t say all those things that mean so much after they are no longer here. Please don’t worry because I am sure he knew how you felt and the love and care you gave him. Stay safe and please don’t worry. Sxx

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